News & Politics

Going to National Parks Is Racist, Declares ABC News

In the six weeks since a multiracial group of Minnesota cops killed George Floyd, America has learned all sorts of things about what caused the crime. It wasn’t just those cops’ fault, you see. It wasn’t just the responsibility of the city of Minneapolis or even the state of Minnesota. As it turns out, every white person in the world is responsible for Floyd’s death. That’s why we now need to tear down any statue of any historical figure who was Caucasian, even the guy who signed the Emancipation Proclamation. That’s why any white person who voices a black character on a cartoon show needs to step aside now. That’s why we need to expunge that episode of The Golden Girls where they wore mud masks and the dumb one said, “We’re not really black.” All of those things are racist. All of those things made those cops kill that guy.

And we’re just getting started. Everything that white people enjoy is racist, because they’re white people. Even going to national parks is racist now, because most of the people who go to national parks are white.

Seriously.

Did you get all that? It’s racist to go to national parks, even though you’re not keeping anybody else from going there. It’s “self-segregation,” even though the parks are open to anyone who wants to go. And if you’re a white person, it’s your fault if people of color don’t want to go to the parks, especially if you’ve never done anything to hurt anybody. None of the black people interviewed by ABC News can point to any specific instance of racism, which is what’s so nefarious about white people. There’s nothing more racist than not being a racist.

The message is clear: Mother Nature is a white supremacist.

But seriously, folks. Speaking as a white person — Sorry! — I have no interest whatsoever in going to a national park. I know they’re there, and that’s fine. If other people want to go there, fine. If other black or brown people want to go there, fine. And also… it’s fine if they don’t! I really don’t understand why anybody should care about the racial breakdown of national park attendees, or what will be solved if we somehow force non-white people to go to national parks. This is just some white journos who are expected to file a story about racism, even if there’s no racism.

“If white people are bad, and lots of white people go to national parks… Hey, national parks are racist now!” It’s the opposite of journalism.

But let’s say you’re dumb enough to believe this crap. Can you really blame people of color for avoiding national parks? Not only would they see a bunch of white faces there, but some of those faces are 60 feet tall!

Even just a month ago, if you had told me the libs would want to take down Mount Rushmore, I’d say you were imagining things. Now I’m just waiting for Congress to vote on it.

Mind you, I’m ambivalent about making statues and sculptures of any politician, even the relatively good ones. I’ve always been leery of such graven images. But I’m even more leery of any political movement that thinks the path to the future is somehow blocked by evidence of the past. That we can’t move forward without trashing what’s behind us. But then, there’s no logic or reason to any of this. It’s driven entirely by emotion. Crowd psychology has migrated online, and extremes of thought and behavior are rewarded more extremely.

Somebody tells you that Lincoln didn’t really free the slaves? Well then, you need to one-up them and blurt out that Lincoln was an outright racist. Now tear down his statue or you’re a racist! It’s completely insane.

This is all going to have the opposite of the intended effect. Americans were already tired of being called racist for things we didn’t do, and now there’s no escaping it wherever we go. We’re fed up.

Dear Libs: You aren’t going to shame Americans into accepting collective responsibility for crimes they didn’t commit. You’re just going to alienate them, and they’re not going to listen to you when there are real problems to solve.

I guess you want a Trump landslide in November, huh?