A lot of people made a lot of bad predictions during the 2016 election, myself included. As election day loomed, I tried to mentally prepare myself for the horror of a Hillary Clinton presidency. I assumed it was bound to happen, no matter which of the two completely unacceptable major party candidates got my vote. (Neither one did. I ended up writing in Larry Hovis.) So I was immensely relieved to wake up the next morning to learn that she had lost.
Lost to a man.
We avoided the worst-case scenario, in favor of the second-worst-case scenario. We wouldn’t have to listen to that voice for the next 4-8 years. Finally, Hillary could waddle off to the woods, or crawl into a vat of Chardonnay, or find some other way to fill that void in her soul. Finally, she’d stop belligerently scolding America all the time.
Once again, I was completely wrong. No matter what happened on Nov. 8, 2016, there is no timeline in the multiverse where Hillary Clinton will ever, ever stop yapping. And I say… let her!
“I was really struck by how people said that to me — you know, mostly people in the press, for whatever reason — mostly, ‘Go away, go away,’” Clinton said Thursday during an event at Rutgers University.
“And I had one of the young people who works for me go back and do a bit of research. They never said that to any man who was not elected. I was kind of struck by that,” Clinton said.
I’m trying to remember any previous presidential candidate who lost and then spent the next 18 months hobbling around complaining about it to anybody with a camera and a microphone. I don’t recall any previous Oval Office-loser who wrote a book about it, literally titled What Happened. Nope, all those previous washouts managed to move on dot org. Hell, even Al Gore quit whining about it after the first year or so! He just ate everything in sight, made movies about how your carbon footprint is destroying the planet, and flew around on private jets between his various mansions.
And you know what? Lots of people told him to go away. Lots of people told John Kerry to go away. And John McCain. And Mitt Romney. And everybody else who has ever run for president and come in second place. “You lost, go away” is all the losers hear, anytime they speak in public.
Despite the “bit of research” by “one of the young people” who work for Hillary, she’s wrong yet again. She isn’t being singled out because she’s a woman. She’s being singled out because she’s a two-time inductee into the Losers’ Club.
But I’m not telling her to go away. And you shouldn’t be either if you want the Republicans to keep winning. The more Hillary talks, the more she reminds us what really happened:
The more this crazy old lady hollers and complains, and then hollers and complains about the reaction to her hollering and complaining, the better it is for everybody. She gets paid for it. (Although not as much as Snooki!) She provides solace to the people who still love her for whatever reason. And she provides endless fodder for the rest of us.
She has absolutely no incentive to shut up, and the Republicans have absolutely no incentive to make her. Grandma can keep on jawin’. She just keeps making Trump more and more palatable.
I leave you with this future leader of America, explaining how much Hillary means to her. Did you know… Bill Clinton’s wife won the popular vote???
— RutgersUAA (@RutgersUAA) March 29, 2018