News & Politics

The Top Trump Train Sycophants, Ranked

Some conservatives can’t even mouth the words “Never Trump.”

For them, the reality show star’s presidential campaign is catnip, the perfect way to crash the “establishment.”

It doesn’t matter that Trump has been supporting said “establishment” for years. Or that his policies change faster than Britney Spears donning new duds in her Las Vegas show.

No, for the following conservative stars, it’s Trump or Bust.

The only question remaining is … just how devoted are they to the Trump Train? Let’s list some of Trump’s biggest boosters and see who emerges as the most dedicated Trumpkin…

Rush Limbaugh

El Rushbo once defended conservatism better than any radio talker. Period. That stopped when Trump appeared on the GOP scene. Suddenly, Limbaugh awkwardly excused Trump’s far-left policies, ignored the gaping holes in his knowledge. He tut-tutted over Trump’s accusations that President George W. Bush lied us into war. Listeners could literally hear Limbaugh go silent for awkard moments whenever a caller schooled him on Trump’s flaws. The syndicated talker never picks a GOP favorite during primary season, but by failing to hold Trump accountable he quietly supported the brash candidate. And, in turn, helped ensure his primary victory.

Trump Train Rating: Man Crush

Chris Christie

The New Jersey governor’s presidential aspirations didn’t last long. Instead of licking his wounds and looking ahead to 2020, he jumped on the Trump Train with both feet. What happened next? Not only did Christie fail to secure the VP slot, but Trump insulted him to his face, sparking a series of comic social media memes.

Trump Train Rating: Infatuation

Mike Huckabee

The former governor seems an odd person to fall hard for Trump. He’s a deeply religious man, and Trump’s ties to Christianity seem as deep as the nearest puddle. That hasn’t stopped Huck from declaring war on anyone in the “Never Trump” space. He’s “inspired the masses,” said Huckabee, ignoring Trump’s deplorable comments, affairs and other spiritually bankrupt tendencies.

Trump Train Rating: Smitten

Ann Coulter

She threw all her considerable energy behind Mitt Romney four years ago. Now, she’s tugged on her Make America Great Again red hat on for Mr. Trump. Occasionally, as if inundated by smelling salts, she slams Trump on social media. Just this week she shared her disgust at his choice for VP – Gov. Mike Pence. The rest of the time? She’s firmly in Trump’s cheering section. Just consider her latest tome: “In Trump We Trust: E Pluribus Awesome.” And no, that’s not a parody. That’s a real book.

Trump Train Rating: Love, Exciting and New

Sean Hannity

The Fox News star never wowed us with his creative approach to conservatism. He was steady. Reliable. Smart. Then, Sean met Donald. Suddenly, his stable presence morphed into that of a fawning Beatles fan gazing up at Ringo behind the drum kit. He’s become a social media laughingstock as a result.

Trump Train Rating: Hopelessly Devoted

Is there anyone you’d add to this list? Leave a comment below and let me know!

Christian Toto is a freelance writer and editor of