'The CDC Now Recommends' Is the Joke We All Needed in 2021

If you’re anything like every other sane person in America, you’re sick of COVID-19 dominating the headlines. You’ve also probably had your fill of government bureaucrats trying to tell you how to live your life. Take the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), for instance.

It’s hard to imagine how the CDC has any credibility whatsoever anymore as often as they’ve changed their recommendations. Remember when it was just the unvaccinated who needed to wear masks? Then the CDC changed their recommendations to mask the vaxxed too.

Just this week, the CDC admitted that they overestimated how prevalent the omicron variant was in the U.S. Then they revised their quarantine regulations and dropped hints that you may not really be fully vaccinated unless you’ve had boosters too.

And on and on it goes.

As often as we lament the dangers and pitfalls of social media, it can be good for something once in a while. This week, social media has become a brilliant parody factory as we get the payoff for the CDC screaming to be made fun of for so many months.

You don’t have to go terribly far on social media to find jokes that start with “The CDC now recommends…” or “The CDC now says…”

They can be pretty funny, and these jokes are the ones we’ve needed in 2021.

Let’s explore the fun, shall we?

Normally, Twitter is a cesspool of extreme and uninformed opinions (PJ Media readers notwithstanding, of course), combined with censorship taken to the max, but the amateur comedians of Twitter have spun CDC straw into parody gold.

The CDC recommends you put pineapple on your pizza

— Abigail Marone 🇺🇸 (@abigailmarone) December 30, 2021

Maybe the CDC should take the advice of Jurassic Park‘s Dr. Ian Malcolm, when he said, “…your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

the CDC just announced you can fill a theme park with dinosaurs again if you really learned your lesson last time

— silent nate, holy nate (@MNateShyamalan) December 28, 2021

The CDC is also issuing recommendations that we all could use this New Year’s Eve:

The CDC now recommends liquor before beer, you’re in the clear

— Lindsay Wigo (@LindsayWigo) December 30, 2021

And let’s all be grateful for the dance instructions the CDC is providing us:

The CDC now recommends to
Turn it out
To the left
Take it back now, y'all
One hop this time
Right foot, let's stomp
Left foot, let's stomp
Cha cha real smooth

— Benjamin A. Vorwerk (@bvorwerk) December 29, 2021

The life advice that the CDC offers is priceless:

The CDC now recommends you don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to.

— Derek Young (@DerekMYoung) December 29, 2021

And consider how generous they are with their facilities:

The CDC now recommends using the lab fridge and microwave for food

— K.T. Elliott (@KTElliottMicro) December 28, 2021

You know the Babylon Bee would get in on the action with a classic.

CDC Now Recommends Wearing A Seat Belt Even When You’re Outside The Car #BestoftheBee2021 https://t.co/Q8BjhQA3lA

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) December 28, 2021

Now let’s throw it over to Facebook for its take on the CDC’s ridiculousness.

First, there’s some good advice for baseball and softball parents:

Every Gen-X kid can identify with this sage medical advice:

If you have an issue with this advice from the CDC, you’ll need to take it up with Human Resources:

Even man’s best friend is getting in on the CDC recommendation action:

Instagram’s a little bit harder to search, but a friend of mine sent me this one: