Happy Friday, Gentle Readers,
First, thank you for your forbearance. I took most of this week off to attend a grandchild's out-of-state graduation. The trip also gave us a chance to see something other than our local environs and enjoy a mini-vacation. As a bonus, I got to take my mind off the daily doom scroll for a few days.
Woman shocked to discover she is pregnant
The Post Millennial notes that an 18-year-old Florida woman was surprised to find out that she was pregnant after being intimate with her boyfriend. Time magazine originally reported the story under this headline: "His Pregnancy Came as a Shock. Florida's Abortion Law Made it Harder.” Yes, you read that correctly. Jasper is a woman who identifies as a man. She has been taking testosterone, which gave her a deeper voice and facial hair and decreased her menstruation. It, of course, did not turn her into a man. She still had all of her original equipment and was perfectly capable of conceiving a child.
Jasper apparently believed that doses of testosterone would be enough to ward off pregnancy. But as was stated in "Jurassic Park," life finds a way. And in this case, life did what it often does when two people of the opposite sex come together. Life didn't even have to try very hard.
Because Jasper had decided she was a man, the doctors didn't even consider pregnancy as a possible cause of her nausea, soreness, and pain - all symptoms that can occur when a woman is with child. It wasn't until she was twelve weeks along that a medical professional delivered the news that she was going to be a mother. Due to Florida law, that left her with three weeks to get an abortion, which she eventually did. Time wrote:
The thought flickered through his mind: if he had been born cis, he never would’ve had to worry about pregnancy or abortion. This was yet another way his body didn’t fully feel like his own, and another way it felt like Florida—which had also recently passed a law outlawing gender-affirming care for people younger than 18—was attempting to deny him basic physical autonomy.
Then there is the issue that if Jasper thinks she is a man, why is she having "traditional" relations with her boyfriend? Probably best not to try to connect those dots just before the weekend.
It seems that Jasper succumbed to the propaganda that all one needs to switch one's sex is a course of hormone treatments and the desire to declare oneself to be a man. There are some things for which a can-do attitude is no good, such as changing your sex. Human beings are not the Little Engine That Could. Sometimes, thinking you can just isn't enough.
But Jasper lives in a world in which reality is optional. So does Time Magazine, which is why it can gripe that men have a hard time getting abortions in Florida.
Thunburger winner
I want to thank everyone who submitted a recipe. The prize, in addition to a shout-out, is to have Kevin Downey Jr. come to your home to emcee your next family gathering, reunion, or corporate retreat. He might even officiate at your son or daughter's wedding. Kevin is looking forward to it. Or he will be after I tell him. For a couple of extra bucks, we could throw in Kruiser. I'll have to check.
Without further ado, our winner and the official creator of the Thunburger is the reader who calls himself Tim. The recipe is as follows:
First, a sarcastic (climate cultist) recipe:
Ingredient:
One fake burger (you can use Morningstar veggie burger or something of the ilk)
Directions:
Take a fake burger patty, and set it on the counter for 12 hours or until defrosted.
eat raw. No bun or toppings allowed.
Spend the next three days on the throne with food poisoning.
Okay, a real submission:
One pound of bacon, cooked to desired crispiness
-I prefer my bacon to be VERY crispy. George Foreman Grill does it perfectly.
-Crumble up one quarter of it, mix into a half-pound of ground beef, and add a few drops of your preferred hot sauce. (preferably a higher-end habanero-based sauce, ghost pepper sauce if you're as daring as Kruiser) (mild Texas Pete if you're a wuss)
-Grill mixture (outside, per submission rules) until almost done, then top with cheese. A mixture of cheddar and pepper jack is preferred. Continue grilling until the cheese is melted.
-Top burger with the remaining bacon that you haven't already eaten. (We all know the hardest part of making bacon is having any left by the time you're done frying the whole pound.)
-In lieu of a bun place in between two grilled cheese sandwiches.
-Cut diagonally. Do not allow any bacon scraps that fall off to go to waste. That would be a mortal sin against bacon!
*VERY IMPORTANT*
Mayonnaise is forbidden. That is a vile, disgusting excuse of a condiment that is really just "vomit in a jar"
ketchup and mustard are permitted, but not encouraged.
Enjoy the delicious heart attack you have just created for yourself!
We had some very good entries, and if you like, let me know and I will post the others in next week's column. But I'm running out of space and the editors might kill me if I keep going. Congratulations, Tim! I'll have KDJ call when his plane lands.
Wine recommendation
Because if KDJ is coming to your home you will want a drink. I know he will.
One of the great things about getting out of Utah is that you escape the... curious alcohol constraints of the Beehive State. One of the gas stations we stopped at had a better selection of wine than the state liquor back home. We also happened upon a wine supermarket that sold a variety of wines, beers, and spirits and had a snazzy, well-stocked walk-in humidor. That is where Mrs. Brown found this 2022 L'Auratae Nero d'Avola Sicilia IGT.
This is a very inexpensive wine that really delivered. Although it retails for $10 or less, which might make some purists turn up their noses, it has a nice, dark color, a tempting bouquet, and a solid, oak, and red fruit taste (especially cherries) with just a little smoke. It is a bolder red but it is not super-aggressive and is smooth without being flat or tame. It runs pretty much right down the middle in terms of tannins and acidity but it is just strong enough to make for a satisfying glass.
It has a good structure and is very drinkable. It's vegan-friendly, if you care about such things, although I am not sure how something made from grapes could not be vegan-friendly. This is not a high-end wine, but it is a nice wine at a great price and will make for a good treat without making your wallet hemorrhage. And it packs a nice punch that will put you in the right frame of mind.
It would go well with a nice meat stew, or a pasta dish with a good, spicy marinara. However, it is also a good choice as a nice, end-of-the-day sip.
That's it for me. Have a great weekend and I'll see you next time.
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