Weekend Parting Shot: Butterfly Season in Boulder. Plus: Attack of the Caucasian Robots!

Paramount Pictures via AP

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers,

If you are someone who eschewed college to learn a trade, the following stories from The College Fix will give you reasons to say, "I told you so." If you are someone who went to college and who wishes you learned a trade, you have another reason to say, "I wish someone would have told me so."

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“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”―George Carlin

In my best Sir David Attenborough voice:

The modern North American Progressive is a fascinating species. Observing the species in its natural habitat, one will notice that much like its European counterparts, the North American Progressive often has brightly colored hair, a preponderance of facial piercings and tattoos, and the ability to scream or cry spontaneously. 

It can also display a marked naked and unbridled aggression against opponents. However, paleontologists note that years ago, the North American Progressive, while not always docile, was relatively agreeable if obtuse and self-absorbed. It was much more adaptable to various social situations than its descendants. 

I miss that iteration of the species. Compared to the liberals I knew in my youth, today's progressives can best be compared to a description of Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker: "He might give you a hundred dollars, or he might kill you. He'll probably kill you." That is why, in all honesty, I find the story of University of Colorado Boulder Professor Beth Osnes positively charming. No, really. 

In addition to teaching theater, Osnes also offers classes in environmental studies. She has been feeling increasingly distraught over climate change. While she was doing research for her class "Creative Climate Communications," her discontent reached its zenith. She told Colorado Public Radio:

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I started to get that terrible ooze feeling that comes in like a sickness that you get from despair. It was like swallowing crude oil or something. Just the knowledge of what’s happening to our planet it feels almost disabling. It almost puts your heart on the ground. And we can’t address the climate crisis if our hearts are on the ground.

To cope with the situation, Osnes created a full-sized butterfly costume. She now performs the “Butterfly Affect Experience.” The purpose is “to inspire a collective commitment to co-create a world that is equitable, sustainable, and conducive to thriving life and ecosystems.” Scoff if you will. But I would prefer a college professor in a butterfly outfit putting on a show to convince me of the dangers of climate change to a 350-pound, green-haired, seventh-year college student with 134 pronouns holding me down on the curb and trying to gnaw out my liver. 

#robotssowhite

From the We-Have-Officially-Run-Out-of-Reasons-To-Be-Offended File: A University of Pittsburgh sociology professor is gravely concerned. You see, there is still one area of life that needs to be stripped of the trappings of the horrible white patriarchy. Okay, who are we kidding? As long as these people hold power, there will always be something that needs to be stripped of the trappings of the horrible white patriarchy. 

But in this case, we are talking about robots. Yes, you cisgender bigot, it's time you owned up to your privilege and admitted that there are too many white robots. Mark Patterson contends that a major problem with robots is that they do not look like the "folx" with whom they interact. Well, yeah. They're robots. Have you ever seen one of the human-looking ones? What is binary code for creepy?

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One of Patterson's chief concerns is that black kids, who now apparently outnumber white kids for autism, might end up interacting with a white robot. This could be traumatic. And it isn't just the paint jobs that irk Patterson. He also believes that "(The) 'poverty of the engineered imaginary' can further be overcome by delving into various cultures’ 'gestures,' 'expressions,' and 'vocalizations' and then incorporating them into our robotic assistants."

Patterson also maintains that robots have been overly depicted as feminine and servile. Ding ding ding! I smell the patriarchy! 

The article notes that there are plenty of white robots. As in that is the color of the metal or plastic. Also, in the movie "I, Robot," the robots were depicted as white males. On the covers of the original Asimov book, they were gray. The article also asserts that the robot in the latest incarnation of "Lost in Space" is black. But in the television series, he was gray. I think that the color gray has been historically suppressed when it comes to robots. As a 50+ American, I demand that my demographic be properly represented in the depiction of robots. 

And what about C3PO? He's gold. What does that do to the debate? I know, I know. You Star Wars purists out there are shouting that C3PO is a 'droid. Keep nagging, and you'll make me care about this story less than I already do.

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There are two issues here. First, you should not judge a robot by the color of its outer shell but by the woke content of its programming. Second, did the school give this guy tenure?

Wine recommendation

Because as Steven Wright once said, "Always remember, you're unique. Just like everybody else." 

At a certain point in a marriage, you and your spouse will begin having an inordinate number of conservations that go something like this:

"What do you want to do about dinner?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"Whatever you want."

"Well, pick something."

"What are you in the mood for?"

For you newlyweds, don't panic. It happens to the best of us at one time or another. Mrs. Brown and I came dangerously close to having that conversation the other day before we discovered two ribeyes in the lower strata of the freezer. Debate over. 

The steaks were beautifully marbled and an inch thick. I marinated them all day with some garlic and onion. If the wind hadn't been up, I would have thrown them on the smoker with some mesquite chips. And I needed a good wine. Instead of spending time staring at the bottles, I grabbed a 2020 Pavette Cabernet Sauvignon.

For something I randomly grabbed from the rack, I was very happy with this wine. It is dusky and mellow at first taste, but it also has a nice kick from the tannins for a bold finish across the palate. 

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It skews to the dry side, but while it is definitely noticeable, it isn't aggressive. Unless you like your wine so dry that it makes your eyes bug out like Roger Rabbit, you won't be disappointed. You'll find hints of cherry, plum dark berries, chocolate, a little vanilla, and some oak from the aging process. It's one of the few reds I've had that could be paired well with poultry, but to be honest, it was the perfect match for those ribeyes.

That's it for me. Have a great weekend, and I'll see you next time. 

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