Is This the Real Reason Twitter Employees Are Afraid of Elon Musk?

Britta Pedersen/Pool via AP

I think I have finally honed in on why Twitter employees are up in arms about the ascent of Elon Musk. It isn’t that their jobs are in jeopardy, although Musk has dropped the axe a few times already. It isn’t because Twitter users are now at risk of hearing diverse points of view, although they are. That’s more of a media/government thing. It’s for people like Max Boot, who was fretting about Musk as far back as April. The Federalist had this quote from one of Boot’s tweets, no less”

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I am frightened by the impact on society and politics if Elon Musk acquires Twitter. He seems to believe that on social media anything goes. For democracy to survive, we need more content moderation, not less.

No, the threat of free speech is not enough to chill the souls of the Legion of Twits. I think they are terrified that Musk might make them work for a living. Up until now at least, it appears Twitter has been a pretty cushy gig. Libs of TikTok published the video below from a Twidiot who showcased a day in the life of a Twitter employee.

 

No wonder the ban hammer has always been dropped so easily, and the platform has been infested with bots. These people have been too busy “unwinding” with foosball to do their jobs and make decisions. Apparently, the only things working around Twitter are the algorithms. Judging from the video, there were some meetings scheduled for the narrator, and it looks like she showed up for about two of them. And, of course, in between meetings, one can always flee to the meditation room, which is helpful for re-centering oneself after the trauma of seeing a tweet from anyone slightly to the right of Bernie Sanders.

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For the most part, the narrator, who drones on in a dreamy voice over the twinkly music, spends the majority of the video eating or drinking. The only thing lacking (besides scenes of work being done) was a few shots of the super-cool, state-of-the-art, DEI and COVID-safe corporate latrines. And with all the food and beverages, activity in the cans must be pretty brisk.

And red wine on tap? First of all, wine comes out of a bottle or a barrel. Or a bottle in a paper bag. Or whatever you make it in at home. I am a wine snob (really, I have a cool certificate and everything), and civilized people do not get wine out of a stainless steel tap and use a glass that looks like it was recently liberated from a summer camp kitchen. Okay, that last remark was a little untoward. But c’mon, if you are going to pretend you are one of the cultural elite, at least get it right. If I can fake it, so can you. Get it together, posers.

For a while, it was all the rage to have some amenities in the office. I worked in one that had a soft-drink dispenser and Super Mario Kart in the break room. But people ended up having to work too much to even miss that stuff once it went away, or they all started working from home. But Twitter doesn’t look like an office. It looks like daycare for young adults. It’s a place where they can play office, or worse yet, act out the 2020s version of “Friends” and maybe do a cool arts-and-crafts project to show grandma. And if I didn’t have a work ethic and had a job where I could meditate, play foosball and drink lattes and red wine, I’d be worried about losing such a sweet spot myself.

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