No, Millennials. Grown Men Should NOT Wear Underoos.

At the risk of yet again being the wet blanket and killjoy that I am sometimes accused of being, I must deliver this public service announcement to any and all millennial males who might be reading this and anyone who cares about them (or shops for them still): grown men should not be wearing Underoos.

No matter how much you loved them as a kid. If you can shave, you have aged out of Underoos—no matter how great you think you look in them. Wearing what amounts to a Superman or Aquaman (or Skeletor or Darth Vader) costume under your clothes is fun for little boys...but sad for grown men. Not every day can or should be Halloween. That's why Halloween is special (and should always be so). It's one day (that's evolved into more of a season) each year when everyone can dress up as whatever they want. But as adults, the rest of the year is for being adults (which makes that Halloween time so special and fun).

Underoos started making matching briefs and t-shirt combo packs for grown men a few years ago and clearly sales have been gangbusters, since they keep expanding their line with new characters that millennial males can dress up as under their street clothes: He-Man, Captain America, Batman, Power Rangers, The Flash...well, I've got a news flash: this is all very sad. What is adorable and sweet on a very small boy is a borderline "cry for help" when it's worn by a middle-aged Peter Pan.