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The Top Five Reasons To Be a Commie Pinko

Editor's Note: PJ Lifestyle has recently agreed to a content sharing agreement with the progressive blog Sunny Points Memo, the journalism wing of Sunny TV. Each week we will be featuring various hard-hitting journalistic reports from Sunny's team of 21st century Woodward and Bernsteins.


Communism gets a bad rap, what with the 80 million or so murders, give or take 10 million, perpetrated by Communists worldwide. But hey, it’s for the greater good, don’t-ya-know. In spite of its gruesome history, Communist ideology is still going strong in American culture. That’s because there are compelling reasons to be a Communist that overshadow most people’s fear of being dragged out of their home in the middle of the night for no reason, put in a work camp that will likely kill them, or having to boil their children in pots and eat them just to survive. Pshaw! That will never happen here!

Here are the top 5 reasons it’s good to be a Commie.

Reason #1: Free Stuff!

This is by far the best reason to be a Communist. You never, ever have to buy anything for yourself or your family ever again. Anything available to be given, you will get, especially if you have some political pull, but even if you don’t, your basic life needs will be taken care of by the state. Probably. Especially after they implement that next 5-year plan.

Need an apartment? It’s free! Never mind you have to share it with 20 smelly strangers -- because ... wow! You don’t have to pay for it! Need food? That’s free too! And all of it organically grown (because pesticides were thrown out with the first cost cuts). Need a new pair of shoes? As soon as the shoe factory produces some, you’ll get a pair! Who cares how long you have to wait. Medical care, education, even transportation -- all free!!

Holy cow! That’s awesome! See what I’m talking about? How could you turn that down?

Click NEXT to see Reason #2 why it's good to be a Commie...