As I was doing prep for the world's favorite obnoxiously pro-American, gleefully anti-communist radio program, "The Kevin Downey, Jr, Show," which you can listen to every weekday from 10-11 a.m. EST on LI News Radio and online, I stumbled onto a story that I assumed was a prank.
I mean, it's almost too good to be true.
A man living as a woman set fire to three houses in Suffolk County, N.Y. The dude's "trans" name is "Amanda Burnside."
Come on. A MAN-DUH, BURNside. That's either a joke or the work of a very clever transgender serial torcher.
I am not surprised that a transgender serial arsonist is running around New York, but I'm shocked that this one chose such a funny nom de plume. With the exception of "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "The Kids in the Hall," men in dresses aren't usually this funny.
I eventually had to go straight to the source. I found a statement by Suffolk County District Attorney Ray Tierney.
First, I'm shocked the statement refers to Burnisde as "she/her." Either Tierney has gone full woke or perhaps he has not yet taken a peep at "Ms." Burnside.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the world's funniest serial fire-popping trangender, Amanda Burnside!
It appears the serial NY arsonist Amanda Burnside has a mustache? pic.twitter.com/thQlfnVSa4
— Frank (@Frank98515905) November 16, 2023
I am not sure if I should be shocked at what happened next.
Tierney asked the judge for the firestarter to be held in jail on $500,000 cash, $1 million bond, or $1.5 million partially secured bond. The judge had other ideas and set the gender-bending pyro on his way. No jail, no bail. Free to go. Never mind the people living in those three homes that Burnside tried to melt.
Tierney blamed New York's pro-Marxist laws that keep dangerous criminals on the streets where they can do what the apparatchiks want them to do, which is to cause chaos:
Clearly, the dangerousness of this defendant, who allegedly tried to ignite three homes on fire, was not adequately considered, given that within two hours of her arraignment, she allegedly committed another serious, violent felony. Furthermore, the danger that this defendant posed to society could never be adequately considered insofar as dangerousness is not a bail factor that judges can consider under New York State law. My office will continue to seek that defendants that pose a threat to public safety, remain in custody, despite the obvious flaws to our law.
To recap, a judge set a serial arsonist with a mental illness free after trying to burn down three houses.
Wait, KDJ, did you say transgenderism is a mental illness?!?!?!?
Yes.
FACT-O-RAMA! Roughly 42% of transgender people attempt suicide, which is way a way higher rate than people living in German concentration camps in WWII.
A person suffering from mental illness with a recent history of trying to burn people alive has been released. What could go wrong?
FIGHTING BACK-O-RAMA! Every elected seat from the county level up through to the four congressional representatives are all Republican.
Less than two hours after skating out of the courtroom, Burnside snagged a knife and tried to rob a nearby Dollar Tree.
Amanda Burnside-Robtree was arrested and charged with armed robbery and is currently enjoying the hospitality of the Suffolk County Police Dept.
Bravo, Herr Burnside. It's a classic name for such a hobby.
If I were a transgender serial tinder-pusher who sets fire to houses, I'd go by "Bernie Homes."
If I were a transgender swinger, I'd call myself "Sharon Weiners."
I can do this all day.
Actually, I gotta go. I have a comedy gig in June. Until then, tune in to "The Kevin Downey, Jr, Show."
On a serious note, if you are a transgender person considering suicide — or arson — please call the Transgender Hotline: (877) 565-8860.
