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Pinocchio Friday! All the Lib Fibs That Are Fit to Print

(Lou Rocco/ABC via AP)

This is the very first edition of “Pinocchio Friday! All the Lib Fibs That Are Fit to Print.” I only thought of it because Joyless Behar of “The View” said something so astonishingly stupid it reminded me of “The Time Warp.” from “Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

“It’s astounding. Truth is fleeting… madness takes its toll…”

Okay, I swapped in the word “truth,” but you get my drift.

Even better, I have a video of Behar beclowning herself on national TV, so stick around for the television’s most vacant stooge. First, let’s look at some of this week’s most humiliating scandalmongering.

Like most of you, I first assume that a political lie serves a greater cause. For instance, imagine the military-industrial complex pretending a U.S. Navy destroyer was attacked in the Gulf of Tonkin so the U.S. could get heavily involved in a never-ending war that vanquished roughly 57,000 American lives but lined the pockets of politicians and defense contractors.

FACT-O-RAMA! I am not suicidal and my brakes were recently inspected!

So, let’s dig into some of the most egregious tommyrots the left has vomitously spewed across the world this week.

I heard it from a friend who,

heard it from a friend who,

heard it from another Israel didn’t bomb that hospital

We all knew this was a stinky pile of weather-wrecking cow feculance. Despite what Harvard’s Illuminati student body STILL thinks, Israel didn’t bomb a hospital, and 500 people didn’t die. But the fork-tongued Marxists at the “New York Times pretended it did, and that was enough to set off worldwide protests and riots, including some sheep cuddlers in Australia who chanted “Gas the Jews.”

Are you going to tell me the “world-renowned New York Times” didn’t do a fact check on a story they knew would lead to global threats of genocide against Jews? Of course they did, and they got the desired effect they wanted. Later, they recanted in an editor’s note claiming they “relied too heavily on claims” from Hamasexuals who were still bragging about ginsuing Jewish babies. I mean, if you can’t trust a savage, who CAN you trust?

Fools Rashida in

If there is one person who trusts genocidal gang rapists it’s Rep. Rashida Tlaib. Whether she believed the Gaza hospital codswallop—or the multiple sources, including Biden, who claimed it was false—Tlaib used the fake bombing as a pretext for her Meisner waterworks display outside the Capitol, which resulted in what CNN would call an “insurrection” if it had been Republicans.

Non-Jews pretending to be Jews financed by Geroge Soros plowed into the Capitol. Hundreds were arrested and sent to the D.C. gulag for years… oops, sorry, wrong “insurrection.” Some were arrested and are likely resting their pampered heads safely in Mom’s basement. Marjorie Taylor-Greene is looking to clown-slap Tlaib, but we know that isn’t likely to happen. Tlaib is a Maois-Marxist swine and thus will likely get the same punishment as that dork Jamaal Bowman, who pulled a fire alarm and pretended it was a secret thingy to open a door that he never even tried to open.

What is Maryland Dem Rep. Jamie Raskin going to be for Halloween? Adam Schiff.

That rascally Raskin got caught doing his Adam Schiff impression by spewing mega-fiction this week in his tragic little attempt to keep the Biden Spy Ring out of the news.

It seems an informant told the FBI that then-VP Gropey Joe Biden accepted a $5 million bribe. Raskin claimed there must have been no “there” there as the FBI closed the case years ago. He went so far as to say that then-Attorney General Bill Barr “determined there was no grounds to escalate from an initial assessment to a preliminary investigation” and even “called an end” to the investigation due to a lack of   “criminal activity.”

“It’s not true,” Barr countered. “It wasn’t closed down. On the contrary, it was sent to Delaware for further investigation.”

Simple confusion, oui? Not quite. He was told several times the investigation was still open.

Would I lie to you, Sonny?

Ok, here it is. This is the best, and my fellow 2nd Amendment enthusiasts will love it.

Joy Behar doesn’t know the difference between an AR-15 and a bazooka.

WATCH!

FACT-O-RAMA! Joy Behar gets paid millions of dollars to lie to suburban wine-box mommies who actually believe her.

My friend and fellow comedian Vinnie D’Agostino had one of the best replies to Behar’s shocking stupidity, which she somehow combines with the self-assuredness of Wile E. Coyote.

I know I could list about 17 other lies—just from President Poopy Pants himself—but I have to go splatter an elephant with my Red Ryder BB gun I got last Christmas.

Just in case Joy Behar is hungry, I recently bagged a Yeti with my Winchester .22 centerfire.

Have a patriotic weekend, and remember: be free, STAY free.

 

 

 

 

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