Day Drinking With the KDJ: TSA Edition

Today we enjoy one of my favorites.

Aviation Cocktail

• Dry gin, nothing too floral
• Maraschino liqueur
• Creme de Violette or Creme Evette
• Lemon juice
• Dash of lavender bitters

I hate pretentious cocktail recipes with insane ingredients no one owns. Thus, I’m sad/proud to say, I own all of these.

I’m drinking the Aviation cocktail in honor of the five TSA agents and one explosives technician who almost kept me from making my flight yesterday. I’m not sure why but I’ve been tagged. I went to the kiosk to get my ticket and it told me to see an agent. An airline agent said there was a problem, “Perhaps with the CDC,” but her lack of poker face said something else. She made a 20-minute phone call to a mystery person, who asked for my address, driver’s license number, and phone number. The caller asked if I was checking a firearm. I wasn’t (and why would the CDC ask that?). Finally, I was given a boarding pass. That’s when the fun began.

The only “positive” on this flight was the one my briefcase gave on a swab test. I was then treated to an intimate pat-down and my other bag was searched. I didn’t know what was happening until I saw the explosives technician approach. Then it hit me. I had used this briefcase to store a gun on a road trip from Michigan to Florida, back when they used to let us take road trips. Actually, I haven’t used it in over two years. Gunpowder must be as resilient as a cockroach. They finally let me through just to search my stuff once more at the gate. I still have no idea why I was tagged to begin with.

Enough of the Evil Woke

The left is annoying me so I’m being annoying back at them. In petty ways, much like a younger, smarter sibling exacting revenge on a dopey brother.

I’m annoyed that major chain stores have booted the MyPillow, so I bought two. There is a 6-8 week backlog. Mine arrived this week. Order now and you’ll have it before July 4th. At least Mike Lindell is busy.

I also ordered a Trump 2024 Zippo that arrived yesterday. I’m going to risk cancer and start smoking when I’m in liberal cities just to use it publicly.

I’m not religious, but I’m wearing a crucifix outside my shirt just to piss off any Christian-hating lefty who might see me as I walk past Planet Fitness. I dropped my membership when they canceled the membership of Yvette Cormier, a woman who complained there was a man in the women’s locker room. Planet Fitness told Cormier the “man” identified as a woman and summarily booted Cormier. So much for a woman’s right to privacy. The Michigan Supreme Court in 2019 allowed Cormier’s lawsuit against Planet Fitness to go forward.

I’m wearing my MAGA hat at Traders Joe’s, and I take petty merriment in watching the hippy-dippy employees lose their weed-induced smiles when they see it. If I pay cash, I take the bills from my I “HEART” Trump money clip. If I use a card it comes out of my  “Trump Train” Wallet.

I’ve always been pro-Trump, but I would hide it in public, lest a white, pram-pushing commie mommy in Starbucks see me in one of my five Trump t-shirts or seven Trump hats and go off on a holier-than-thou tirade. Kidding, I’d never go to Starbucks. I get coffee at the gas station then sit on a Starbucks bench. I will have my childish revenge.

I flaunt my MAGA mania with the attitude of Muhammad Ali looking down on Sonny Liston. I ask restaurant servers if they have Pepsi, then politely say, “No thank you” if they offer Woka-Cola. I take Uber, not Lyft. I use sidewalks instead of a murderous Peloton. I post pics of myself in Trump gear just so libs have something to cry about online. I never liked rednecks but I want to be one just to piss off the soy-sucking Sallies. I want to buy more guns and an F-150 with a rack to store them. Never mind. Ford is on a woke list. I guess I’m going Ram tough.