How Orthodox Jews Find Their Soul Mates
One of the most important decisions in your life is whom to marry. That person will become enmeshed in your life and can either boost you or, in the worst case scenario, hinder your growth and happiness.
Orthodox Jews know the importance of marriage. The process and rules for these unions are even laid out in the Torah. The Torah explains how to marry, the laws of modesty in a marriage, how a man should treat his wife, and even, in the event the marriage does not work out, the rules and mechanisms for divorce.
Those who help bring together a man and a woman for the purpose of marriage are considered as doing a good deed. Contributing to the cost of the marriage of someone who can't afford a proper celebration is considered positive charity.
It is with great deliberation and care that the parents of an Orthodox Jewish young woman or young man check the background of a potential mate. Orthodox Jews realize that though opposites may attract in the greater world, having their children marry someone from a similar background and with similar goals and ideals makes for a smoother marriage.
Though divorce is allowed for in Judaism, the rate for divorce among the ultra Orthodox is minimal and in the general Orthodox world is a much smaller percentage than in the non-Orthodox Jewish world and the general non-Jewish world as well.
Generally, Orthodox Jews try to see to it that their children marry at younger ages than non-Orthodox and non-Jewish young people. Orthodox parents start to begin the search through what are known as shadchanim or official matchmakers. Anyone who has seen the movie Fiddler on the Roof has heard the famous “Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match” song, catchy and true.
The ultra-Orthodox start their search when their children are still in their teens. It isn't unusual for a bride to be seventeen or a bridegroom nineteen. Though many in the non-Orthodox world may think that marrying at these ages may be too early and the bride and briedgroom too immature to have such a marriage last, the majority of these marriages last for entire lifetimes.
These marriages last because of the intensive research done by the parents for weeks and even months before the couple even meets.
Another important reason is that the couple's entire education from young ages onward is geared to preparing them for marriage and its sanctity. To these prospective brides and bridegrooms, the inner qualities of the potential spouses are more important than special looks. They are not looking for hot chicks or hunks, or for a doctor or a lawyer. They also know that marriage and family is the bedrock of the Jewish religion and they approach the first meeting with a potential mate and the prospect of their marriage with the utmost seriousness.
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