Greetings, pathetic Earthlings!
Yes, I’m still here. Yes, it’s been five months. I may have appeared deceased, but I was merely hibernating in one of the suspended animation tubes visible behind me in the picture above.
Here’s the skinny: for the last six months now, I have been pretty much totally consumed by a new project. I’ve returned to the dark habits of my misspent youth and have almost completed my seventh movie script. I suppose I could work three jobs instead of two, the third being essay-writing, but my back has been very delicate lately. Oh, the pain! The Pain!
Why go AWOL and write a movie script, when the Idiotarian Mootbat Hunting Season is in full flower, and the skies are black with swarms of gaseous, leathery-winged bloviators, ripe for the skewering? Well, I’ll tell you. On my best day here at trusty Triple-E, I might reach forty thousand people. With a semi-successful film, I might reach ten million, maybe ten times that.
Many times in the past five months — MANY times — I have felt the call to pound out some essay or another, and every time I am reminded of the huge lead time necessary for getting a film produced, a clock that only starts ticking once the script is finished. And so time and again I have forced myself to stay on target and press on with this screenplay; which, I am sure you will be shocked – shocked! – to discover, is somewhat overwritten. Overwritten by a factor of two. Maybe three.
It’s just that I have such a huge story to tell. I can’t reveal the plot as yet, but I can give you a rough idea of what has been taking my essay time away from us at such a demanding rate:
It’s a science-fiction story. It takes place in the Strange and Mysterious World of Tomorrow — the unimaginable world of TEN YEARS FROM NOW! In this mad, topsy-turvey, upside down Future World, several things happen that are inconcievable to Modern Man and his Puny Brain.
Here are some poster tag lines that may help. They are:
* Men travelling through space WITHOUT THE AID OF GOVERNMENT AGENCIES!
* People facing extreme risks and DECIDING TO TAKE THEM ANYWAY!
* Puny Earthlings using THEIR OWN MONEY ANY DAMN WAY THEY CHOOSE TO!
* Nuclear Energy being portrayed in a NON-EVIL FASHION!
* BUSINESSMEN and ENGINEERS as HEROES!
* PROTESTORS and CELEBRITIES as LAUGHING STOCKS!
It’s a World Gone Mad! Only Science Fiction can capture such a fantastical future!
No, folks, deep down, I am deadly serious. I hope to be finished by mid February. Then, at long last, I will be back in earnest with the one word that, after five months, has crystallized what I’ve been thinking about lo these five long months:
Don’t worry. When it comes to cultural suicide, I’m aginn’ it.
I’ll be back soon, I promise. I’m almost finished. Until then, here’s a little tease to tide you over…