GOP set to Vaporize Tens of Thousands of Cowboy Poetry Fans

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Let’s get the Most Important Question out of the way first: Do we know if Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg qualifies as an official Cowboy Poet himself?


The quotable Harry Reid swings into action once again:

“The mean-spirited bill, H.R. 1, eliminates National Public Broadcasting,” said Reid in a floor speech. “It eliminates the National Endowment of the Humanities, National Endowment of the Arts. These programs create jobs. The National Endowment of the Humanities is the reason we have in northern Nevada every January a cowboy poetry festival. Had that program not been around, the tens of thousands of people who come there every year would not exist.”

As Guy Benson jokes, “Poof!  The way Reid tells it, tens of thousands of John Wayne/Walt Whitman enthusiasts would simply fall off the face of the earth if Republicans’ mean-spirited demonstrably modest cuts are adopted.”

And failing that, perhaps the GOP’s Satanic Styrofoam cups will finish them off:

A group of Democrats complain Styrofoam cups in the House cafeteria could contain carcinogens.

In a letter to Speaker John Boehner (Ohio) and other Republican leaders, the nine Democrats say the Styrofoam cups and other dining materials could hold chemical components that could cause cancer. The Democrats are upset with the switch to Styrofoam from recyclable materials put into place when Democrats ran the House.

The letter asks Boehner to reconsider the switch away from recyclable to polystyrene-based foam containers, and warns that the health of visitors to the Capitol could be compromised.

“The irresponsibility of the decision to use polystyrene foam without considering other options is all the more egregious because the cafeteria is not merely used by House members and our staffers,” the lawmakers write. “The health of constituents and visitors to the Hill who eat in the cafeteria will be impacted by this short-sighted decision.”


Not to mention having both their feng shui and nitrogen footprint rating totally ruined. And their mellow harshed, to boot. But then, it’s hard out there for a cowboy poet.

And needless to say, there’s no finer cowboy poet than the masterful Senate orator himself.


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