Charlie Sheen's Car Plunges Over Cliff

Details via the Celebslam gossip site:

But he wasn’t in it. In fact, no one was in it. Sheen got a call around 4 AM from the Mercedes-equivalent to OnStar alerting him that his car had been in an accident and the airbags deployed. From KTLA:

Charlie Sheen’s Mercedes-Benz was reported stolen and found crashed some 400 feet below Mulholland Drive this morning, the Los Angeles Police Department has confirmed.

Someone reported a “vehicle over the side” in the 13300 block of the winding ridgetop road at 4:06 a.m., said Erik Scott of the Los Angeles Fire Department. The vehicle was spotted upside-down in a ditch shortly after.

Los Angeles city firefighters along with two helicopter crews were searching the area for possible crash victims, but none were found. Officer Bruce Borihanh said there was no evidence to suggest someone was inside the car when it went over the edge.

The fact that George Bush was nowhere to be seen near the incident is clearly proof that he was involved somehow.

Or maybe Haliburton. Or Blackwater. Or maybe the kid from Two and a Half Men.