Geez, what is it with that Iowahawk, slacking off again for the holidays? Today, I guess so he can visit the family in Cedar Rapids, he has yet another imaginary satiric special guest blogger holding down the fort.
Underwear gnome number one himself, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab:
Lemme ask you: have you ever tried to inject a glycerin detonator syringe into some plastic explosives glued under your nutsack, while you were stoned out of your gourd, in an airplane bathroom, during Lake Erie turbulence, while some stupid hippie is pounding on the door? Take my word for this, it. is. a. mofo. I must have stabbed myself in the junk eight or ten times before I finally got it smoldering. So I stroll out of the loo, real casual-like, with my nuts on fire, and headed back to my seat to blow out the fuselage.