First The Earth Cooled, Then Liza And Susan Lucci Came...

One of my favorite scenes in 1982’s Airplane II: The Sequel starred Lloyd Bridges and Stephen Stucker, who delivered a classic piece of insanity, playing off Bridges’ straight-arrow Steve McCroskey character:

McCroskey: Jacobs, I want to know absolutely everything that’s happened up till now.

Jacobs: Well, let’s see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes. I couldn’t believe it.

This Beautiful Atrocities “Root Causes of Terrorism Timeline” feels like Stucker’s riff.

Only now with two-thirds more Liza Minnelli!