"CBS EVENING NEWS RATINGS HIT

“CBS EVENING NEWS RATINGS HIT NEW LOW“. Clearly, there’s only one thing to do: Replace the aging Dan Rather with someone new and different. Someone with bold ideas. A fresh thinker. Someone who’s controversial, instead of the same kind of whitebread liberal anchors the networks always churn out. CBS needs a firebrand. A rebel.

Gentlemen, I have your man: Phil Donahue, tanned, rested and ready. What he did to for MSNBC, he can do for your network as well.

(For information about the classic photo of “Captain Dan the Newsman” on the left, click here.)

UPDATE: Scott Ott strikes a similar note.