THE HEART OF THE MATTER: Tres Producers boils it all down to what we’ll miss about Jim Traficant: his unbelievable hair and muttonchop sideburns, and compiles a list of media quotes (and creates a few of their own) of the most incredible hair in politics, the anti-JFK, the Bizarro-Gipper, the alternative Star Trek universe where Lt. Uhura wears a uniform with a bare midriff, and Spock sports a goatee Trent Lott (insert the name of your favorite politician with incredible hair–real or Sy Sperling-created, here).
It’s easy to feel sympathetic to the Traficant locks, (although to be honest, I suspect they’ll be spared prison time, if you get my drift…), and to agree with Eric Olsen’s comments that:
Perhaps the hair should have been afforded independent counsel and mounted its own defense. The thought of it shorn, constrained or incarcerated is hardly bearable. Traficant may be more concerned with locks of another sort, as he plays his final act on the public stage, but the rest of us should behold it while we can.
What is hair today will be gone tomorrow.