Dr. Helen

Alpha or Jerk? You Decide

It’s tough dating as an alpha female; I wouldn’t know because apparently I am a beta, but this woman at thebolde.com says it is, so we should take her word for it (via Newsalert):

Being an alpha female is, for the most part, pretty awesome. I know this because I am one. We’re wildly independent, ferociously driven and we favor passion over tender romanticizing. We’re also incredibly stubborn, hard-headed, opinionated, and can be intimidating or misjudged by men. This makes our dating lives more of a challenge to navigate. We’re not your typical submissive and doting partners, we’re a challenge. For this reason, finding a man who can handle and understand the traits we carry is much harder. These are the real struggles of being an alpha female in the dating world.

I find that anyone calling herself an “alpha” usually is either insecure, obnoxious, or both — and apparently it’s the latter for this gem. Apparently, an alpha female has some really attractive traits including “having a smart mouth,” making sexual innuendos, telling others off on controversial topics and debating her date for a good time. Imagine a man who said he enjoyed these pastimes. He would be called a jerk or worse.

This woman thinks she’s “empowered” in some way by being a real pain and then deluding herself by telling herself she is an alpha instead of a jerk. Then, to top it off, she thinks it’s a man’s fault if he cannot “handle” her annoying behavior. Is she an alpha or just mean? It’s hard to tell. But apparently, she does not know the difference.

A true alpha doesn’t need to act childish by debating others on a date to make herself feel good, nor does she need to make smart-aleck remarks and expect her date to think it’s fine. A true alpha is secure with herself and doesn’t need to put others down and attack men, in particular her dates to make herself feel better. This writer mistakenly calls herself an alpha when what she really is is just another insecure woman. It sounds like her dates pick up on that and head for the door. She says men leave because “we take the lead, and that makes most men run.” I would say that men are running for other reasons, but she is too busy lying to herself about why than working on being a decent human being that realizes that men are human too.

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