Dr. Helen

When Should You Reveal A Vasectomy to a Woman You are Dating?

A reader writes in:

Definitely need to get a vasectomy for sure to make sure I can’t have kids because I don’t want them. Let’s say I’m in a serious relationship, do you feel it’s my obligation to disclose my vasectomy to whoever I’m dating? If so, at what point should I tell them, or is it something I can just keep to myself. I don’t think it’s good to lie but at what point does it become her business? Thank you!! “larry”

I wrote him back a short response:

Hmm, that is an interesting question. I don’t think you really owe someone you are casually dating information about a vasectomy but I suppose if it became more serious (e.g. you talk about long term, living together etc.) you would want to tell her. If she cannot handle the information, it will tell you something about her and whether she is right for you or not.

What advice would you give “Larry” on when to tell a perspective date that he had a vasectomy? Or should he tell her at all?