McDonald's in Japan Offering Pumpkin Spice Fries

McDonald's in Japan Offering Pumpkin Spice Fries
Photo: McDelivery Japan

I now understand the lament, “I can’t even.”

Japan is home to many awesome things: cat cafés, robot-run hotels, and human Tetris game show competitions. The newest triumph that Japan is touting is something we all wish we had stateside: pumpkin spice french fries. This past January, McDonald’s started to offer the “McChoco Potato,” chocolate sauce covered french fries. Apparently the people wanted more sauce on their fries, which spawned the “Halloween Choco Potato.”

The seasonal concoction is available from September 28 to Halloween and was conceived in honor of McDonald’s 45th anniversary in Japan.

Leave it to Japan to make it weird. These are the people who put lettuce in a vending machine, after all. To their credit, they also dispense draft beer from vending machines, so they are obviously fans of a “throw it at the wall and see what sticks” approach.

Still, while Forbes is excited about these fries, I think this may be the pumpkin spice bastardization that breaks me. I am an endless-summer kind of guy. Heck, I don’t even like winters in Los Angeles. In my dream world, I move to Australia every October to experience a constant cycle of spring and summer. So I’ve never liked anything about the fall other than football and the World Series, which I’m convinced God created just to keep me relatively sane. The pumpkin spicing of everything has only made my second least favorite season more tedious.

As I told my Facebook friends a couple of weeks ago, I don’t end friendships over politics, but I can’t guarantee the rabid pumpkin spice people the same.