Culture

'Journalism' Alert: Biden's Bedtime and Adorable PDAs Give the Corporate Media All the Feels

AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

How do you cover the most boring president ever, Joe Biden, when you can’t criticize him even when he signs 3,762* executive orders in three days? He’s been in office for 50 years, so there are not even a lot of background or “how he got here” stories. The restriction on criticism is quite a problem for the corporate media in their quest to support the narratives of unity and normalcy, even when no one is buying it. And while they hated Orange Man Bad with every fiber of their being, he was fantastic for ratings.

If you are the New York Times, you just make your staff the story by putting all of your intraoffice drama—driven by woke staffers taking the scalps of your experienced professionals—front and center. For those waiting for the Gray Lady to implode, it is kind of like watching a train wreck. It’s suitable for a few vengeful clicks, anyway, as the real reporters contemplate moving to Substack.

For everyone else, it is a bit more challenging. First, you continue to wage war against the former president and his supporters, suggesting “deprogramming” and “truth commissions.” Then you recycle the same content covering the events of January 6, 2021, and what they mean for the country’s future—even though all available evidence says they mean absolutely nothing.

So you go with the old stand-by, the human interest story. On Valentine’s Day, you do a piece on the first couple. They are just so adorable, and their public snuggles are restorative. Politico did that article, consulting historians and relationship experts, declaring, “It just symbolizes everything: Bidens bring presidential PDA’s back to the White House.” Don’t worry; they didn’t put the finger-licking photo from the campaign trail in the article. But there is a video of Al and Tipper Gore, who separated in 2010, sucking face. They even use PDAs between President and Dr. Biden to excuse Joe’s habit of touching women and girls inappropriately:

Since Inauguration Day last month, the first couple have been conspicuous in their frequent public displays of affection, from a fleeting kiss before boarding Marine One to a cozy morning stroll among oversized candy hearts on the White House North Lawn.

The romantic gestures between the Bidens — who are spending Valentine’s Day weekend with family at Camp David — are representative not only of their resilient, 43-year marriage, but also of the new president’s self-proclaimed “tactile” style of interpersonal communication.”

Yeah, tactile, that’s it. Jill Biden has struck me more as a caregiver, constantly hovering and about to snap, like she is worried Joe will do something weird. Gripping his arm during Zoom calls, holding his arm in her own two as if they were a vice meant to keep him from wandering off. It never looked very relaxed.

Oddly, the Bidens’ spokespeople had no response to the burning question of what they were trying to convey with their canoodling. Perhaps the crack team at Politico is reading too much into it? While they covered most modern presidents, including kind words for Gerald and Betty Ford’s PDAs, both Bush couples and Ronald and Nancy Reagan were missing. The Reagans were one of the greatest love stories ever in the White House. Thank goodness they didn’t try to fake it with the Clintons.

Several other media outlets were at Camp David and reported that President Biden beat his granddaughter at Mario Kart, even though you know she let him win. When you need to fill time on a Tuesday, you can always follow the Washington Post’s former conservative blogger Jen Rubin and write a glowing op-ed about how groovy things are. This Tweeter nailed it:

Or take a page from CNN’s beat. They did an exposé on the president’s bedtime routine, “Inside the new President’s routine: Oval Office fires and early bedtimes.” At least this one has a kernel of truth in it:

As Biden settles into a job he has been seeking on-and-off for three decades, the daily routine of being president — with a phalanx of Secret Service agents, regular updates on the nation’s top secrets, and an ever-present press corps — has come more naturally for him than for his more recent predecessors.

More like a job he’s been plotting to get for five decades, but who’s counting? At 78, it is not shocking that Biden goes to bed early. One should wonder how early and who will be taking the 3 a.m. phone calls. Apparently, no one was last night, since there was no statement from him on the American injured by enemy fire in Iraq by early this morning. With the previous administration, we’d have already sent part of someone home in a box.

Joe is just so thrilled to finally be the resident of 1600 that he shows it off to former colleagues. A full quarter of the Senate has visited his new digs like Biden is a recent college grad with his first apartment.

Hilariously, the story claims that Biden is willing to talk to the press casually. I haven’t seen a lot of that, actually. And of course, they have to mention the church-going. The media only reports that because they think it’s weird. And last, but not least, they note that for the first time in years there are no children in the house. No one needed that mental picture, thanks. Our boss here at PJ Media weighed in with the questions that a real reporter would have asked:

Welcome to journalism in 2021. It is easy to miss Jim “find me a mirror” Acosta. At least his meltdowns were mildly entertaining. It just seems like these people need a nappy to wipe their chin from all the slobbering.

*Not the actual number. But give him time. 

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