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VIDEO: How to Shoplift an Entire Store in 3 Easy Steps

Step number one: secretly put products in other customers’ pockets and bags.

Step two: put on the largest coat you own, grab everything in sight, and hide it below your coat.

Step three: go to the cash register and wait for the alarms to go berserk. Calmly walk out.

Congrats, you’re now a master thief.