I can’t even believe the news is real anymore. I’ve reached peak absurdity with the whole country locked down, schools closed, restaurants ordered shuttered, and the National Guard activated in 33 states. But believe me, it can get weirder. Here we go.
Hollywood actor Jared Leto has emerged (looking like a chic Jesus) from a 12-day “silent meditation” in the desert to news of a global pandemic. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been following this WuFlu thing for at least two months, so I’m not sure if I believe that Leto had no idea that this was a thing, but let’s go with it for the giggles. I don’t know if this was some sort of Lenten observation or just a hippie L.A. thing that the wealthy do when they feel their third eye is clogged, but it’s worth noting that the actual Jesus went into the desert for 40 days, not a measly twelve. But I digress.
“Is there anything more L.A. than learning about the coronavirus pandemic only after emerging from a 12-day meditation retreat in the desert, thereby also presumably undoing all the stress release that meditation retreat did? If there is, we can’t think of it,” wrote Entertainment Weekly. No. There really isn’t.
In case you haven’t seen Leto recently, here’s his current styling. His Instagram account is a total parody of an out-of-touch man-bunned leftist Hollyweirdo. I highly recommend browsing it for the laughs.
I can’t be the only one who is reminded of the following clip from Russell Brand’s brilliant satire “Get Him to the Greek” and the hilarious music video where the spoiled star, Aldous Snow, exploits African children for woke points. The lyrics begin with “I have crossed the mystic desert.” Jared, this movie was a joke, not an instructional video. But thanks for the laughs. It is truly appreciated in this time of anxiety and uncertainty.
Megan Fox is the author of “Believe Evidence; The Death of Due Process from Salome to #MeToo,” and host of The Fringe podcast. Follow on Twitter @MeganFoxWriter
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