Culture

Yes, I'm Mad at Starbucks, But the Christmas-less Red Cups Are NOT the Problem

Starbucks Red Cup

Look, ya’ll…I’ve had it. And I don’t really use the word “ya’ll” but it seems to fit here. Ya’ll gone bonkers over this red-cup fiasco at Starbucks. And the funny thing is, most people who are upset are upset that other people (somewhere) are upset about this blank red cup (that doesn’t have “Merry Christmas” on it or something).

I think the only guy in America who is actually upset about it is the guy who made the viral video, Joshua Feuerstein. I don’t know what his deal is, but congrats to him on the viral video, which should ensure he has a pretty nice Christmas. He seems to be doing stuff on his page that’s important (unlike the cup fiasco), like bringing attention to the persecuted Christians in the Middle East and talking about suicide prevention, so that’s all good. And he has every right to his opinion that somehow not seeing “Merry Christmas” on his mocha latte is upsetting to him (and makes him stomp around and yell a little).

What’s weird to me is that for all the reasons to hate Starbucks, the minimalist red holiday cup (yes, I said holiday…there are several between November and January that Christians and other people celebrate) is the least of them. Have we forgotten that Starbucks matches employee contributions to Planned Parenthood (where no one becomes a parent and babies are torn apart and sold off to the highest bidder)? Have we forgotten that, people? Because that just happened about two months ago. (See: “Dear Starbucks, You Lost Me at Planned Parenthood.”)

Are we so forgetful that we’ve gone back to our half-caf, no-foam salted caramel frappucinos, despite this gruesome fact? I haven’t. And I never will. Starbucks can hate guns and Christmas — and Christians, for that matter — and I wouldn’t give a hoot. But send my money to the butchers of human children who chomp their salads and guzzle wine while discussing how they crush babies with forceps (so as not to damage the valuable human organs for sale) and I am done. Like, forever done. So I don’t care if Starbucks has red cups or black cups or cups that say Allahu Akbar! — I won’t be buying any of them.

Feuerstein doesn’t speak for Christianity, nor do I, because we’re all very different. So he can get his knickers twisted over any stupid thing he wants, while most of the rest of us prefer to get enraged over real evil like abortion and beheadings. But I’m thinking if Jesus walked into a Starbucks and was offered a cheery red cup, He wouldn’t be stomping around, waving a gun, and complaining that His name wasn’t on it. But I’d watch out if I were Deb Nucatola, munching my salad and breezily discussing the full-scale murder of His children for money. Remember that one time Jesus made a whip and then beat people with it? Yeah, me too.

Christians like Feuerstein may be missing the forest for the trees. Yes, I’m mad at Starbucks too, but the Christmas-less red cup is hardly the problem. It’s the red blood of human babies that should bother Christians. You can find me at Dunkin’ Donuts this year. Their cup says “Happy Holidays” and it doesn’t offend me one bit.