Feeling tense and in need of a massage? You might want to try something a little different than your typical 50-minute deep tissue massage at your local spa. Have you ever considered having a few giant boa constrictors perform your massage by slithering around your body? No? Now is your chance.
The Wholeness Center in Valley Cottage, N.Y., offers the unparalleled experience of snake massages. A woman going by the name “Serpentessa” has nearly a dozen pet boa constrictors on hand, and chooses three or four of the non-venomous reptiles to massage her clients. The practice apparently has roots in Indonesia and Israel. According to Serpentessa, who has been doing this for 15 years, snakes “tone and stimulate the vagus nerve to release endorphins and oxytocin,” which can relieve stress. Apparently it can even lead to sensual bliss.
Slither your way to a more relaxed day 🐍 pic.twitter.com/9pFqjokxXH
— Insider (@thisisinsider) September 11, 2018
Several people who viewed the above video on Twitter wanted absolutely nothing to do with a snake massage:
— Lee Whitley-Fiumano (@animejunki71) September 11, 2018
— Dean Ouellette (@DeanOuellette) September 13, 2018
I'll choose death over this… Boi!
— Arya Stark🗡😘 (@MaudNettey) September 12, 2018
Others questioned the practice’s roots in Indonesia:
I’ve been an Indonesian for the last 24 years, never have i ever heard of a snake massage 😂 ya’ll are trippin.
— Nessie Judge (@nessiejudge) September 12, 2018
And then, there is the question that we have all been worried about:
They may not be venomous, but what if they decide to bite your face just for fun?
— Casey Vise (@SirRocket) September 13, 2018
Perhaps you’re in the minority with the one person on the thread who seemed enthusiastic about the experience:
I WOULD DO IT! 😁
— Moonshadow (@Moonshadow3301) September 11, 2018
What about you? Would you be willing and able to lie motionless on a table while snakes slither along your body and lick your skin? Yeah, me neither…