Culture

5 Questions for Creators of 'The Walking Dead'

The creators of The Walking Dead sometimes seem to throw common sense out the window. Here are a few examples:

5. Why Do People Run Around with Exposed Skin?

Layers, layers, layers.

Even as a baseball dad in Michigan spring weather, I knew better than to leave the house at game time in just a t-shirt, even if it was 75 degrees out—and the only bite I had to worry about was a spring wind.

So why do people in the Zombie Apocalypse world of The Walking Dead, who are only one bite away from death (or walking death) run around with exposed skin anytime, much less when they are heading into risky territory?

Yeah, I get it, you are in Georgia and it’s hot. But since it seems zombies can bite through about any shirt (more on that later) how hard would it be to find some hoodies and wear another shirt underneath?

The world spent thousands of years perfecting armor for people in hostile situations. As your mom told you, “Wear a jacket or you’ll catch your death.”

4. When Did Humans Get too Stupid to Form Cities?

All through human history, people have formed communities, often for mutual protection in hostile surroundings. But apparently, the inheritors of civilization have forgotten how to do that in just a few short months.

I mean seriously. There is all this weaponry lying around for the survivors to scrounge, but where are the military people who were originally issued it? (I gave up for good on the prequel show, Fear the Walking Dead, when the zombies shambled their way over a fully-equipped Army base.)

Sure, Rick is a badass, but he was also a state trooper, not a Green Beret.

So why are all the survivors — Rick, and his makeshift family of people who have learned to be zombie-battling warriors — either crazed anarchistic bandits, or people so weak-minded that they are shocked by the methods Rick and company use to survive?

Sorry, but pretty soon this needs to change. Yes, the Dawn Patrol formula of the band of protagonists in hostile territory getting picked off one by one is tried, true and effective; but it’s time for a show that wants to peel back the layers of human nature to admit that a certain unity in the face of horror is also a natural human instinct.

Look, I tend to be a bit pessimistic about human nature—but, come on.

3. Why are Zombie Jaws Stronger than Live People Jaws?

Do you think you could bite through a sweatshirt and bite into the skin to draw blood?  How about even a t-shirt?

So how did zombie jaws get to the approximate strength of a full grown German shepherd? And why is that the only muscle that has gotten stronger?

They can’t run fast, their arms are weak, and they certainly aren’t coordinated.

But somehow, they have jaws of steel—attached, of course, to skulls of mush.

Which brings me to my other biggest pet peeve…

2. Why Does Everyone, Living or Dead, Have Baby-Soft Skulls?

I’ve never tried to stab someone in the head, but it can’t be that easy.

And if your answer is that the skulls of the dead are, of course, rotting away, then I have more questions for you.

Have you ever dug up an old bone?  Was it mushy?  Have you ever seen bones in a museum?  They aren’t all fossilized, you know.

I know it wasn’t that easy to cut through turkey bones a few days ago…

And why, oh why, can someone be stabbed in the head about ten seconds after he dies and is about to reanimate as a zombie?

Why are skulls rotting, but teeth—and the gums they are anchored to—not?

Skulls are designed to protect brains—which, by the way, actually are soft tissue that can rot.

1. Just How Would it Be LESS Dramatic if Both Humans and Zombies Were Harder to Kill?

And here is the crux. While The Walking Dead has great terrific characters and poses tough moral dilemmas—most of which are much needed ruminations about self-defense and the duty to protect one’s own against the mindless savagery in the world—The Walking Dead sucks a certain amount of its viewership in because of the splatterfest.

And it’s probably a bit late to impose the laws of physics and anatomy on TWD universe.

But I still say it would have given the series a bit more of a dramatic bite.

So, while all these things continue to bug me—particularly when we lose a character I like because a toddling, rotting corpse can bite through a sweatshirt—am I going to stop watching?

Not a chance.