Duke University has created “safe spaces” for men to contemplate their “toxic masculinities,” and how they can be “accountable to feminism” and the women in their lives. This “Men’s Project” is so clichéd, it’s hard to imagine that it’s actually real.
Let’s count the insanities.
One, the project is sponsored by … the Duke Women’s Center, of course. What did the Duke Men’s Center have to say about it?
Oh, that’s right — there isn’t one.
Two, the project’s goal is “… to create a space of brotherhood fellowship dedicated to interrogating male privilege and patriarchy as it exists in our lives, our campus, and our society.” Straight out of the intersectional feminist handbook of insanity. If they really wanted to encourage brotherhood fellowship, they should read “Iron John,” or pretty much anything from The Art of Manliness.
Because three, this safe space for “male-identified individuals” — in other words, men? – is not actually for keeping men safe, a point they pretty much concede with the word “interrogating.” They are doing this to keep women safe by treating men like tigers in a cage. Because men, you know, are violent and threatening by nature.
Four, the project is based on the assumption that “masculinity” — at least in some forms — is toxic, threatening, and unhealthy. What’s actually toxic, threatening, and unhealthy is this false notion about masculinity.
Five, they believe masculinity needs to be “deconstructed.” In other words, men need to be reprogrammed as nice, controlled, subservient, docile, and soft. The “Taming of the Dudes”? No thanks — we will always need masculinity, well-constructed.
Six, the project says men must learn to be “accountable to feminism, to the women in your life, and to the larger community.” Men must bow before the Goddess of Feminism, or they’ll be punished for their disobedience.
This “Men’s Project” is a prime example of how our society has become so drenched in estrogen that it can’t think straight. (Just ask any woman with estrogen dominance — it dulls your brain!) It is nothing more than another way to emasculate males, and emasculating males is the primary goal of modern feminism.
These feminists fail to comprehend that masculinity is as much a good in society as femininity. If there is anything toxic associated with a man’s masculinity, it’s not on account of masculinity itself. It’s because that man is immoral as a human being — just as a woman can be immoral.
Masculinity in itself is not toxic.
Let’s turn this around: is a woman suffering from “toxic femininity” when she unleashes on her husband or boyfriend just because she’s PMSing? Maybe we need to create a “safe space” for women and shove them into it to be “interrogated” once a month. Would the “tolerant” Left go for that?
What would a “Women’s Project” look like? In their “safe spaces,” women can think about how female privilege and matriarchy have created conflicts in their relationships and their community. They can meditate on how their advantaged femininity has spread like a poison through every relationship and community.
They can start with how they use sex as a weapon to manipulate and control men, and how they demand that men meet their emotional, financial, social, and domestic needs (“Get that damn honey-do list done or else!”), and if they don’t, they’re going to pay with weeks of celibacy. How often does she withhold intimacy because she isn’t getting her way, or because her whittle feelings are hurt. Is that fair?
As they gather together, feeling shamed because of their genitalia, they can consider how selfish they are when they demand that a man listen to every thought that gushes out their mouths. And they can reflect on how they expect men to be mind-readers of every thought they have, and if the men don’t get it, then they’re cruel bastards corrupted by their toxic masculinity.
Maybe these women who are on a path to enlightenment can spend a few days discussing how they use the silent treatment or play communication games in order to punish or gain the upper hand, instead of acting like adults and simply talking in a straightforward, honest manner to men.
One assignment can be for them to list how many drinks a man has bought them compared to how many they’ve purchased for a man.
Or how many times a man has used his physical strength to help them, compared to how many times they’ve helped a man.
How often do they tell men “thank you”?
Another assignment could consider how often they have emotionally manipulated men. The tears, the pouting, the cold shoulders. Compare that to how many times a man has cried to manipulate them.
If they really want to get down and dirty with honesty, let them have a “safe space” sharing time when they confess all the times they’ve been violent with a man and he’s never hit back.
How many of them have been left with bruises because women are allowed to hit, and all the man did was hold up his own arms to block the blows? How often, even after the attack, have men held them — comforted them — even though they were the ones who unleashed a violent tirade?
How about making a list of how many times a woman demanded that a man give up his interests so she can indulge hers? How many football games has she guilted him into not watching because she has something more “important” to do?
How often has she complained about him going out with the guys while she spends triple the time with her girlfriends?
And speaking of girlfriends, women often complain about their husbands and say the most disrespectful things about them in public. “My husband never gets off the couch!” If a man says that about his wife? He’s a pig. But women are just funny, cute, adorable.
In this “safe space,” maybe these women can confess their hypocrisy and try to do better. They can practice praising their husbands and boyfriends instead of denigrating them. Show them the same respect and consideration men have shown them.
Of course, not all the issues surrounding toxic femininity are so relational. Many have broader impact. Boys are suffering in school because the education system is shaped and molded by women. As a result, boys grow up without truly “being themselves” as men. In fact, they’re made to feel bad about it, given drugs to subdue it, and forced to comply with female expectations of what is socially acceptable.
Workplaces have become increasingly toxic as women demand more benefits and privileges just because they’re women. Competition is abandoned in the name of cooperation, and businesses often suffer (both are needed). Employees spend more time in meetings talking about problems than actually taking the initiate to solve them.
Government has become enlarged as women expect Uncle Sam to meet their needs, including providing free birth control and childcare. The bigger government gets, the less free all of us are. Feminism has become the guardian of Leviathan, feeding it the scraps of Western civilization.
And yet, women are more unhappy than ever.
Why? Is it because of toxic masculinity or because of the toxic nature of feminism? Are women even experiencing the joys of real femininity — having and raising children, resting in the strength of a man, unleashing their creativity as women and not as deconstructed males?
I’d say they’re not — and it’s because of feminism and its brutal, unrelenting quest for power.
As a result, we have the foolishness of projects like the one at Duke University. If equality, not power, were truly the goal of feminism, there would be as many men’s studies classes as women’s. Men would be treated with the same respect as women, instead of herded into “safe spaces” to be “interrogated” because they’re seen as predators.
Intrinsic to masculinity is strength, but masculine strength does not equal abuse.
A man who abuses is a bad man, just as a woman who abuses is a bad woman.
It has nothing to do with gender. It has to do with character.
The goal of modern-day feminism — to emasculate men and to “deconstruct masculinity” — leads directly to more conflict, more confusion, and more violence. That’s because we need both masculinity and femininity to have healthy, stable relationships and societies.
To lose the masculine is to lose an essential part of our humanity. It should be celebrated, not denigrated. It should be expressed, not repressed. It should be loved, not hated. It should be welcomed, not feared.
If our society fails to see that it will crumble, because without real masculinity, there will be no safe space to keep out the world’s actual dangers.