Madonna: Vote for Hillary and I'll (BLEEP) You

The Material Girl is trying her hand at comedy this week.

If her recent set is any indication, she’s better off sticking with her day job. Then again, there’s a frightening amount of overlap between the two.

Madonna opened up for the increasingly insufferable Amy Schumer Tuesday night at the comic’s Madison Square Garden gig. Here’s how Madonna wrapped up her New York City appearance.

One more thing before I introduce this genius of comedy: If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a b–job — and I am good,” she said to the crowd.

The 58-year-old then went on defend her particular set of skills in this arena. We won’t nauseate you with the details. Suffice to say it’s about what you’d expect from one of those old Penthouse letters to the editor.

Shocking, right? Madonna is back!

Only nothing can truly shock us anymore in our increasingly vulgar culture.

That hasn’t stopped Madonna from trying. Remember how she sent out a snapshot of her underarm hair a few years back?

What about when she revealed a (not so) nude picture of herself to promote Hillary’s campaign mere weeks ago?


Even when she tries to be profound it ends up sounding hopelessly juvenile. Last year, she attempted a plea for peace following a terrorist attack. The results would make even those who swear by their Coexist bumper stickers snicker.

If she truly wanted to be shocking, particularly at a Schumer event, she could have itemized all the reasons why Hillary is monumentally unfit for the White House. It might take a while, but the shock factor would be off the chart. And all she would have to do is tell the truth.

That’s edgy. Just don’t hold your breath waiting for it to happen.

Madonna’s ability to shock us ended about two decades ago. She’s not about to genuinely upset her cocktail party pals to truly be outrageous.

The singer ended her Madison Square Garden intro by praising Schumer and wishing she make people laugh like the “Trainwreck” star can.

“One day I want to do what she does,” Madonna says.

She’s off to a good start. Now, she has to have the audience laughing with her, not at her.