The Morning Briefing: Meat Loaf Is Dead and Howard Stern Is Now Your Grandmother

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Toe clippings need not be shared around a casual campfire.

Just a heads up: we’re not going full politics today.

While I was gathering links for today’s MB I was delivered the news that Meat Loaf died. It meant something to a kid from a certain era, which I am (DATING MYSELF).

There are high school themes and moments that are unforgettable for most people. Yeah, yeah, I know that the ones who go on to be multimillionaire engineers don’t have those moments.

However, even those of us on the high school fringe had some shared experiences.

The kids from my era had most of their first “make out in a car” moments while listening to Meat Loaf’s “Paradise By the Dashboard Light.”

You may say, “But Kruiser, that couldn’t have been playing all the time in those situations.”

Trust me, close enough. Enjoy the video at the end today.

Kevin had a story yesterday that was both disappointing and disturbing:

Howard Stern isn’t stupid. Like every good comedy commentator, he knows where his words will land and how people will react. It’s one of the secrets to his success.

The SiriusXM morning radio host stated on Wednesday that he believes the unvaccinated shouldn’t be allowed into hospitals. He knew how his words would land. As I said, he isn’t stupid. He’s a “shock jock.” Mission accomplished.

Stern is, however, wildly misinformed, and has been for a while. That’s on him.

“When are we gonna stop putting up with the idiots in this country and just say it’s mandatory to get vaccinated?” Stern asked on air in September of 2021. “F— ’em. F— their freedom. I want my freedom to live. I want to get out of the house already. I want to go next door and play chess. I want to go take some pictures. This is bull—-.”

Stern believes the unvaccinated are somehow keeping him at home. They are not. Stern is vaccinated.

Howard Stern became Howard Stern because he flouted authority. He went to SiriusXM because he didn’t want to be controlled by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC).

I wasn’t a radio guy, but there was a time in the early ’90s when I set my alarm to listen to Howard Stern. He was that good. He was crass. He was insightful. Most importantly — for me — he was funny. He was also beyond edgy.

Now he’s a bitchy, housecoat-wearing granny.

And he’s pimping the authority that he once claimed was his nemesis.

I am not saying that our grannies are bad. I’m saying that Howard Stern’s granny take is weak and pathetic.

Everything Isn’t Awful

Speedskater Erin Jackson had a stumble and ended up one spot short of making it to the Olympics.

That spot ended up going to her teammate, Brittany Bowe.

What did Brittany do?

She forfeited her spot, giving Erin a chance at gold.
pic.twitter.com/sEtjGbb1nm

— Goodable (@Goodable) January 20, 2022

GOLD ‘Five O’Clock Somewhere’ with Kruiser, VodkaPundit, Special Guest Kevin – Replay Available

Around the Interwebz

#RIP. Meat Loaf Dies: ‘Bat Out Of Hell’ Singer & ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ Actor Was 74

Physicists havecreated “everlasting bubbles”

Why Are Online Scams Called ‘Phishing’?

Bee Me

Uyghurs Burn Warriors Jerseys In Protest But Unfortunately Have To Start Making New Ones Afterwardhttps://t.co/2ZPZ0wGd49

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) January 21, 2022