Hilaria Baldwin Is A Joke, ¿Me Entiendes?
Happy New Year’s Eve, my dear, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. I’ll try not to embarrass anyone.
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie, we made it! The end of this hot mess has finally reached its calendar point of demise. Yeah, there’s going to be a lingering stench, but we can at least begin distancing ourselves from the Year That Shall Not Be Named.
This has all been a smidge surreal, hasn’t it? It’s difficult to pick out the weirdest part of the last ten months. The election certainly ranks near the top. We’re supposed to believe that fourteen hundred kajillionty quadrillion people voted for a man who can’t navigate three consecutive sentences without veering off on a tangent about shaving aardvarks. Yeah…no.
Over here in the comedy trade, Joe Biden is a target rich joke environment the likes of which hasn’t been seen in the modern era. Sadly, mainstream comedy has been castrated by political correctness and pledged fealty to the Democratic party. Unless I can get back on stage soon, you’re not going to be hearing any jokes about Joe Biden. I don’t even do political comedy on stage, but I’d break my own rules just to have a go at this guy.
Maybe after January 20th we’ll launch a segment here at the Briefing called “The Daily Bidengaffer” or something. Always looking for new ways to have fun.
Speaking of jokes that write themselves, have we all been keeping up with the Hilaria Baldwin story? Alec Baldwin’s wife has been caught slipping in and out of an accent that she shouldn’t have.
Megan wrote about it several days ago, here’s the intro to refresh your memories:
Hilaria Baldwin is married to Alec Baldwin, the mouthy star who does a terrible impression of Donald Trump for Saturday Night Live. Hilaria, or Hillary Hayward Thomas as she was known growing up in Boston, is on the receiving end of internet sleuths who seem to be out to cancel her for faking a Spanish accent and lying about where she was born.
Little Miss Whitebread Massachusetts has been caught red-handed playing “English as a second language” in various television appearances, once going so far as to act as if she couldn’t quickly remember the English word for “cucumber.”
Hilaria has been getting dragged hard on social media for livin’ la vida loca, but most in the MSM have left her alone. If we play the “What If a Conservative Had Done This?” game we face plant right into a wall of double standards.
Señora Baldwin is none too happy with the fact that the internet exists and that it outed her as an utter fraud. Remember kids: cultural appropriation is A-OK if you just register as a Democrat.
Let’s get to today’s headline now. It was inspired by a tweet I happened upon yesterday afternoon:
If SNL doesn't touch one of the funniest stories of the year because it involves the wife of their darling Trump impersonator the last four people who still watch the show should boycott.
— Kate Hyde (@KateHydeNY) December 30, 2020
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE A WINNER.
This story is ripe for repeated lampooning. SNL could redeem itself in the eyes of many (“Present”) by doing a good Hilaria Baldwin skit or two. As the tweet mentions though, Hilaria’s esposo is the show’s go-to for mocking President Trump, which will probably preclude them from making fun of his missus.
Should they find the temerity to do a “¿Cómo se dice?” cucumber sketch, it would be hilarious (almost pun intended) if they could talk Alec into participating. He may be a total tool, but he’s a great comedic actor. Of course, since she’s doubling down on the validity of her shape-shifting accent he’d probably opt for keeping the peace at home.
Be safe if you happen to be going out tonight my friends. I’m off to marinate some pepinos for a salad I’m making later.
Amazing Planes to See Up Close, That Should Work
— CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) December 31, 2020
From the Mothership and Beyond
Gun Stores Overwhelmed By People Returning $600 Guns For $2000 Guns https://t.co/G43N6z31FO
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) December 30, 2020
The Kruiser Kabana
— 11:11 (@11hr11min) December 30, 2020
I’m “I Saw This Tour” years old.
I actually kinda miss being culturally appropriated.
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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.