CNN’s Moment of “Duh”
Happy March 276th, 2020, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. None of this is real.
Remember way back around March 90th or so when we were all so optimistic that we thought the end of the year and the change of the calendar might bring some respite?
As we move inexorably toward what will probably be a nightmarish sequel year rather than a relief, things just seem to get weirder and weirder.
There is, however, one thing that we can rely on to remain the same: CNN is the Enemy of the People and everyone who works for them is more than likely doing something unspeakable to a helpless marmoset as you read this.
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW ADORABLE MARMOSETS ARE, PEOPLE? Shame on you, Wolf Blitzer, shame on you.
Throughout the pre-election phase of the Chinese Bat Flu plague, CNN’s function was to lie as much as possible about the pandemic and keep the panic porn spreading much faster than the virus itself. The goal was to scare people into voting for Joe Biden, a candidate even Joe Biden didn’t like.
Now that they feel that their strategy worked, the network thought it would dip its toes into the truth-telling pool on Monday. Remember, CNN has been journalism-averse for a great many years, so any attempts at being real reporters are now super awkward and clumsy.
The fun began when CNN proclaimed that it had an “exclusive” about China and the plague:
CNN exclusive: Vast trove of leaked documents shows China underreported Covid-19 numbers, took weeks to diagnose new cases and didn’t disclose a December flu spike in Hubei. https://t.co/mtXf3JM7NN pic.twitter.com/azzFFJ5yRO
— The Lead CNN (@TheLeadCNN) November 30, 2020
To say that CNN is a little late to the party on this one would be doing things with the word “understatement” that are probably illegal in thirty countries. I know this year seems like it’s been a decade long, but I can still remember way back to last summer, when the bulk of CNN’s “reporting” involved chiding President Trump for repeatedly making the point that the coronavirus not only came from China, but that China was not at all forthcoming regarding the particulars of it. It was “racist” to be honest about what was going on.
You know what I don’t hear a lot of anymore? Fellow conservatives trying to convince me that Jake Tapper is not as bad as the other mainstream media hacks. That was a problem for years. I’ve maintained all along that Tapper was scum like the rest of them, but he was a favorite on the Right for a while for reasons I could never fathom. The bloom seems to be off Jakey boy’s rose now for the people on our side who used to give me grief for pointing out that he was awful.
That CNN’s on-air personalities were able to “report” this news with straight faces shows how far gone the American political MSM is. The execs probably thought that going through this dog-and-pony show would give them a little you-know-what covering for the egregiously biased advocacy they have been engaged in. As is so often noted these days, they don’t seem to know that everyone has internet now.
There may have been a time when CNN might be able to reorient itself and at least dabble in journalism on occasion. That time has passed. Four years of the most toxic Trump Derangement Syndrome on cable television brought them to a position where they’re relegated to splitting an audience with the other kids on the prog block over at MSNBC. There is a very real chance that CNN’s already bottom-dweller ratings could get even worse under a Biden administration. That was always the danger of their one-note, journalism-free, “hate Trump” strategy: what happens if Trump’s gone?
Full disclosure: I am going to greatly enjoy watching these pathological liars continue to flail.
Just Watch and Enjoy This
This is pretty great pic.twitter.com/C2mvSZorDX
— 🦃 Duchess of Come and Take My Thanksgiving 🦃 (@AnnaDsays) December 1, 2020
LOL, Dana’s the Best
— johnny dollar (@johnnydollar01) November 30, 2020
During this special time of the year, I am delighted to share “America the Beautiful” and pay tribute to the majesty of our great Nation. Together, we celebrate this land we are all proud to call home. #WHChristmas pic.twitter.com/fdZmB3rdXL
— Melania Trump (@FLOTUS) November 30, 2020
From the Mothership and Beyond
Biden All-Female Communications Team Won't Tell Nation What's Wrong, Nation Should Already Know https://t.co/FGDnNg6MJ6
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) November 30, 2020
The Kruiser Kabana
— Archillect (@archillect) November 30, 2020
I had the most overwhelming crush on Susanna Hoffs back in the day. Also, I miss the Hollywood House of Blues.
I’ve yet to encounter a lutist who isn’t a complete poser.
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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.