I Know That Arguing With Leftists Is a Pointless Waste of Time, but Dr. Bourbon Makes Me 'Talkative'

I have long since stopped debating libdolts on Facebook and in person. I used to think people, like myself, wanted the truth, the whole truth, and nothing less. They don’t. They want to be told they are right. I know, stupid me.

Leftists don’t want knowledge; they want to vomitously spew the propaganda they’ve happily gavoned and are eager to hate anyone who dares disagree with their Democrat Pravda-endorsed blatherskite. So what’s the point?

Before we talk about my recent “debate” with a leftist, let’s take a peek at the headline photo. Look at that bozo. I’m going to judge a book by its cover and suggest that he is the definition of what Vlad Lenin referred to as a “useful idiot.”

My pal Jack Daniels and his partner Jimmy Beam

I was hanging out in my favorite bar watching the Detroit Tigers lose when a retired friend who boasts of his liberalism asked me why so many sports teams have changed their names. Normally I’d just make a joke and let it go. But Dr. Bourbon was in the office that day, and he decided to try to cure a lib once and for all.

“That’s from your side,” I responded.

“Then why hasn’t Notre Dame been forced to change their name?” he pressed in an accusatory fashion.

“Because Irish people are mostly white, and the left can’t make them victims,” I retorted. And it was game on!

I’ll clip out the boring bits and get to the juicy parts. This debate lasted almost 30 minutes until my flustered friend, whom I’ll give the gender-neutral name Gavyn, “suddenly” had to go.

PRO TIP-O-RAMA! When clown-slapping a liberal with facts, I find its best to respond with a mocking laugh as this infuriates them. Bonus points if you can get a leftist so angry zhe spits whilst speaking.

As with every cranky leftist, the battle started with abortion.

“Thanks to you Republicans, women can’t get an abortion,” Gavyn erroneously boomed.

“Of course they can,” I chuckled back.

“WHERE?” Gavyn demanded.

“Michigan…” I responded with a smile (this argument took place in Michigan).

Gavyn cut me off as I began to rattle out the dozens of other states that allow unfettered abortions and immediately began to wail that a woman in Texas would have to leave the state to end a pregnancy. Yes, now that the abortion issue has been kicked to the states, snuffing a life in utero has, for many women, become an inconvenience.

Abortion is still legal in many states. Also, even Ruth Bader-Ginsburg questioned the legality of Roe v. Wade.

FACT-O-RAMA! Abortion is legal in Texas only if the pregnancy threatens the mother’s life. There are no exceptions for rape or incest.

Point: ME

Gavyn immediately pivoted to another topic where he was eager to blech his codswallop.

“I suppose you side with that animal Rittenhouse who murdered people,” Gavyn demanded.

“Of course I do,” I quipped, adding, “He didn’t break the law. His case was a joke. He never should have stood trial.”

Gavyn then demanded to know how I could defend a guy who went “across state lines” and was handed an “automatic rifle” he “didn’t know how to shoot.”

“He had no business being in Kenosha. He went there to kill people,” my perturbed and misguided drinking fellow bellowed.

I informed the angry Gavyn that the following truth bombs would (and did) decimate his argument:

As an American, Rittenhouse had every right to be in Kenosha, Wis. That aside, his dad lived there, and the rioters had no right to burn the town.
There are no laws dictating that Rittenhouse could not carry the aforementioned rifle.
Rittenhouse was attacked.
His rifle was a semi-automatic, not an automatic.
He knew very well how to handle the weapon. He hit all three of his targets, two of whom gave up the ghost, and one of whom was a pedophile convicted of assaulting young boys. Gaige Grosskreutz pulled an illegally concealed gun on Rittenhouse and summarily had his bicep vaporized.

Point: ME.

Gavyn was on the ropes, and Dr. Bourbon was just getting started.

“Do you feel it’s ok for a 15-year-old to cut off his penis because he thinks he’s a girl that day?” I smilingly asked.

“I don’t care if the child is ten years old. That’s between the child, his parents, and their doctor. What business is it of yours?” a nearly defeated Gavyn demanded.

“If your neighbors told you their 10-year-old son decided he was a loggerhead turtle and wanted his limbs clipped at his knees and elbows, would you just sit there and allow it? I’d stand in front of their car and call the cops. What would you do?”

Gavyn thought for a moment and said, “I gotta go.”

Point: Me.

What have we learned?

Leftists aren’t bright and don’t try to be. They replace facts with emotions. They regurgitate talking points they picked up from “news” outlets like the Communist News Network (CNN) and feel a sense of false intellectualism as they do so. Rather than pipe down and learn something, they quit and walk away when they are losing a friendly debate.

Personally, I learned that Dr. Bourbon, though entertaining, is better off silently watching the Tigers lose than trying to save a leftist from his own lunacy.