Columns

Day Drinking With KDJ: Jenna Ellis Cocktail Edition

AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin

This afternoon’s cocktail is called Jenna Ellis. It’s sweet but will knock you out. Especially if your name is Liz Cheney: 

Ketel One Mint & Cucumber vodka

Diet tonic

splash of pomegranate juice

lime wedge (squeeze the lime into the drink)

I can’t be the only one who wants to see the Ellis-Cheney bout. Reading Ellis’ tweet challenging Cheney to a debate about voter fraud brought me back to jr. high school, when uncool but cute girl “Monica” challenged “Kathy” the obnoxious jock girl from a large, obnoxious jock family to a schoolyard duel. Kathy was shooting her mouth off about how stupid Monica was, struggling to be popular with her Sears jeans, (not Jordache), braces, and “girly Trapper Keeper.” Kathy may have been a volleyball/basketball star but throwing dukes wasn’t her calling. Monica boxed her like a Little Caesar’s pizza.

We’ve all seen Jenna Ellis in action. Sadly, we’ve seen Liz Cheney as well. It wouldn’t even be a fair debate. But everyone likes to see evil take a punch, verbal or otherwise. I suspect Cheney’s anti-voter-fraud words are the last, dying call of a T-Rex stuck in a tar pit. You went against the leader. Now you pay.

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The Ohio Republican Party is voting on a resolution to censure House reps who voted in favor of the two impeachments against President Trump, including Ohio’s own Rep. Anthony Gonzalez. Personally I want to see the replacement of the two Republican rep traitors from my home state of Michigan, Fred Upton and Peter Meijer. Shame… shame… shame… (“Game of Thrones” reference).

I always laugh when terrorists make “demands.” Today, BLM posted seven demands to their website, which included convicting Trump, banning him from ALL social media platforms, and banning him from running for office. Why wouldn’t you want to stifle the guy who brought you the First Step Act, the Platinum Plan, and record-low black unemployment? Better to have a president who gave a eulogy to a klansman. It’s like sheep firing the sheepdog and demanding to replace him with a wolf. 

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Remember how “Central Park Karen” lost her job for threatening to call the police and report that a black man was threatening her? Check out the tape of the black woman calling a Hispanic L.A. sheriff a murderer, again and again. She calls him a racist even though she is the one power-vomiting racist bile like the Exorcist. At one point she says, “You’re scaring me. You’re threatening to murder me and my son” (he never does that).

If equality is the goal, this teacher should be out of a job by recess. But we know the left was never really interested in equality. 

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HEADLINES

I don’t do funny headlines, but if I did I’d go with…

  • CNN reports Ma’Khia Bryant to be remembered at her funeral as a “vibrant and bubbly” attempted murderer
  • Chipotle Mexican Grill was hit with hundreds of thousands of violations. The Biden administration refuses to call it a crisis
  • With Covid disappearing, April condom sales surge 23.4%, Planned Parenthood braces for double-digit drop in abortions. Liberals respond by planning “Summer of Unprotected Love,” carry signs reading, “Don’t sit back, bareback!”

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Enjoy the Jenna Ellis cocktail! Tomorrow we experiment with gin and maybe learn why it made grandpa MEAN!