Columns

Rand Paul's Festivus Grievances Note 'How Many Million Americans Who’ve Wanted to Force-Choke' Cruz

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) speaks to supporters at The Champions of Liberty Rally in Hebron, Ky., on Aug. 11, 2017. (AP Photo/Bryan Woolston)

WASHINGTON — Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) didn’t let Christmas slip by without his annual Festivus airing of grievances about government waste, which included a jab at President Trump insisting that Mexico is going to pay for the border wall.

Paul does it every Dec. 23 to mark the Seinfeld holiday of Festivus, which included a dinner, feats of strength and the airing of grievances.

His 42-page Festivus report highlighted $563,421,523 in “waste,” noting the listed expenditures wasted the taxes of 69,250 people.

They included $75,000 by the State Department to bring British bloggers on a trip to the United States and $1.5 million for a National Science Foundation “state-of-the-art analysis” of tomatoes that “sets the stage to return it to the taste of decades ago by breeding informed by molecular genetics.”

Paul’s office also found grievances with many USAID programs, including $15 million to train residents for retail jobs in Mexico and nearly $2 million to support “a Pagan B&B in Belarus.”

Paul swung a light saber at Sen. Ted Cruz’s (R-Texas) recent Twitter fight with Luke Skywalker over net neutrality.

Paul added, “I’m KIDDING, Ted. You’re likeable enough.”

He revealed a secret about Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah):

Then he got back to his government-expenditure grievances: