Something’s happened to America’s ambulance chasers. Once, there was a veritable army of hungry personal injury lawyers, ready to cast blame, exploit people’s tragedies and worst emotions, and rake in the big bucks. Open the Yellow Pages a couple of decades ago, and the first third of the book seemed to be taken up with “Attorneys” listings.
But lately, the halcyon days of finessing millions of dollars from McDonald’s for dumping hot coffee onto your own crotch seem to be receding into the mists of time.
Sure, there are still a couple of well-advertised lawyer-enriching scams going around. You’ve doubtless heard ads for class-action suits for victims of mesothelioma, pelvic mesh devices, and of course, the drinking water at Camp LeJeune. But we’re a far cry from the glory days of massive civil lawsuits for damages caused by things like asbestos, baby powder, and breast implants. Who could forget the hundreds of billions (and still trickling in) of cash hoovered out of Big Tobacco’s pockets? Also MIA are the endless ads for garden variety slip-and-fall law firms that make sure injured parties get the benefits they “deserve.”
These days, many of America’s attorneys are busy fighting for their clients’ “civil rights.” Apparently, these now include the right to a fair fistfight with police officers who are trying to arrest you and the right to force people around you to pretend your fantasy life is actually objective truth — and business is brisk for these advocates. Many other lawyers are involved in straight-up political lawfare, including everything from overriding election laws to investigating and persecuting — er, prosecuting — effective conservative politicians and leaders. The war on former President Donald Trump alone encompasses myriad state, local, and federal teams of attorneys, paralegals, and staff. And unfortunately for Americans, funding is plentiful for all these endeavors. As it has done with everything else, Big Left has politicized and repurposed the legal system.
However, there are bountiful corporations that clearly operate outside the realm of good faith and have caused death and life-changing injury to thousands, perhaps millions of people. Deeply sympathetic, photogenic, well-spoken victims are everywhere, if one cares to look for them. And the companies that caused the harm are sitting on billions upon billions of dollars just waiting to be looted. These potential moneymakers are so ripe, they’re about to fall off the vine.
So why isn’t anyone suing?
The biggest mystery of all is the lack of lawsuits against the malignant pediatric “gender affirming care” industry. If there was ever an opportunity for a massive class-action suit demanding restitution for gruesome bodily harm resulting from deception and abuse, this is it.
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European courts are already starting to affirm that minors — especially those suffering from mental illnesses — are unable to give informed consent to undergo life-altering therapies or procedures. In the United States, there are plenty of potential spokespeople to make this case. Chloe Cole, a young woman who was pushed into radical medical procedures in her early teens only to detransition at 16, is a fantastic example. Here’s just one of the countless interviews, speeches, and videos this brave young spokesperson has given:
Chloe Cole was pushed towards receiving life-altering transgender surgeries as a teenager and detransitioned at 16.
She is now leading the fight against gender ideology.@ChoooCole joined @rupasubramanya to share her story: https://t.co/12cl6Jstwv pic.twitter.com/QMOtPnKzIV
— True North (@TrueNorthCentre) May 28, 2023
Where are you, slip-and-fall lawyers? This is a no-brainer! I can hear the ad pitch now:
Were you mutilated or was your development stunted when you were a child? Did doctors give you life-altering drugs or chop off healthy body parts when you were too young to consent? Are you now dependent on constant medical maintenance? Infertile? Disfigured? Suicidal? Just call 1-800-GROOMED, and our team of legal professionals will handle the rest!
And when it comes to fat stacks delivered by a jury for your clients’ pain and suffering, it’s hard to imagine a more target-rich environment than the colossal industry built up and around transing children. There’s Big Pharma, makers of puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones; there are the medical practitioners (and more importantly, their insurers, who should have known better than to back this appalling trend); there are the big healthcare systems that run the hospitals and clinics where “gender-affirming care” takes place; there are school districts that force “Pride” down captive students’ throats; there are social influencers; there are corporations that hire them and promote transgenderism… my goodness, the social putsch has been so all-encompassing, the list of responsible parties goes on and on.
Ambulance chasers have always been considered a plague on society. Finally, here is their chance to step up and be heroes, to go from being the punchline of hateful jokes to sought-after guests and speakers who were essential to at last turning back the trans tide. They could become the toast of the town for saving millions of children from being mutilated and condemned to a lifetime of deformity and medical dependence. And, not to mention, they could get filthy rich doing it. We’re talking geysers of cash — and that used to be enough to motivate these people. What has gone so wrong that it isn’t working anymore? Where is this generation’s Jacoby & Meyers?
How can there not be an avalanche of hungry, ambitious lawyers suing the Bejesus out of Big Pharma, giant healthcare conglomerates, surgeons and psychiatrists, schools, and corporations? What the hell happened to this country?
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