Forgiveness is one of the most poignant acts we can do for each other. It can even heal years-long rifts. Comedian and writer Paul Kerensa, who was our first guest on Faith All Over the Place, related a story of the power of forgiveness on his appearance on BBC Radio 2’s “Pause for Thought” last month.
Madonna and Elton John feuded for 20 years after he accused the Material Girl of lip-syncing a performance. When she beat him out for an award, the feud intensified, and when he appeared on “Saturday Night Live” earlier this year, she decided to confront him.
Paul picks up the story:
Madonna said in an Instagram post, "When I met him, the first thing out of his mouth was, 'Forgive me,' and the wall between us fell down." The power of such simple words is immense. These artistes have nearly a billion record sales between them, they know the power of the right word, the right lyric at the right time. Decades of mistrust and ill-feeling were made right in a second. Though the words forgive me are not always easy. As Elton once sang, sorry seems to be the hardest word.
Madonna continued in her post, "Forgiveness is a powerful tool." And if that sounds like a prayer, well, it's not far off, right? I know, I know, papa don't preach, but the Lord's Prayer asks, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." The updated version says, "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us." But update it further, if you like. Forgive us our shortcomings, our beefs, our foul-ups, as we forgive those who slight us, diss us, throw shade on us. Instead, cherish, hold me closer, open your heart, don't go breaking my heart.
Side note: I can’t help but admire how well Paul worked in the song titles. Bravo!
If forgiveness makes this big an impact among people who aren’t exactly exemplars of Christianity, imagine the impact that Christians forgiving others could make.
GotQuestions points out that God’s forgiveness of His people relates to confession of sin and repentance from it. But there’s a price for sin:
God forgives sin, yet this does not mean that He simply “looks the other way” or “sweeps it under the rug.” The penalty for sin is death (Romans 6:23), and that penalty must be paid. In the Old Testament, God allowed for a sacrificial animal to take the place of the sinner.
God forgives people on the basis of the sacrifice of Christ. The only requirement is that sinful people confess their sin, turn from it, and trust in Jesus Christ as Savior.
The author of Hebrews cites Jeremiah 31 to state that under God’s new covenant, which He enacted when Jesus came to earth, the sacrificial system is unnecessary and that God won’t hold the sins of those He has forgiven against them:
For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.
And the Holy Spirit also bears witness to us; for after saying,
“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,”
then he adds, “I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.”
Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.
Hebrews 10:14-18 (ESV)
God calls us to forgive others, even when it’s difficult. As GotQuestions puts it:
Once a person has experienced the forgiveness of God, he or she is then able (and responsible) to forgive others. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). In fact, those who refuse to forgive betray the fact that they do not understand how much of their own sin they need to have forgiven. Christians should be willing to forgive people who have sinned against them. Every person has wronged God far more than they have been wronged by other people.
A few years ago, a friend of mine took advantage of my generosity to the tune of a significant amount of money. I had to cut the friendship off for a while, but I eventually forgave him, which allowed us to restore our friendship for a while. Unfortunately, I had to cut that relationship off again when he began lying to try to get me to give him more money.
Related: Sunday Thoughts: A Remarkable Example of Forgiveness
I continue to forgive him, even though I don’t know if I can ever trust him again. After all, Jesus told Peter that forgiveness should be infinite:
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)
But what about forgiving and forgetting? People throw the phrase “forgive and forget” around like it’s easy, but it’s not. We can’t simply put our hurts out of our minds, even if we’ve forgiven those who hurt us.
“It is similar to the sentiment expressed in 1 Corinthians 13:5 where ‘love keeps no record of wrongs,’” GotQuestions suggests. “In the phrase forgive and forget, the two terms are really synonyms. Both mean that the person who has forgiven will not continue to hold that sin against the wrongdoer or take it into account in future interactions. A person may remember that it happened, but he or she can choose not to act on it—that is biblical forgetting.”
Forgiveness can be the hardest thing we can do. But since God forgave our sins through Jesus’ death and resurrection, shouldn’t we be able to forgive those who have wronged us?
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