I heard a really interesting statement in a podcast I listened to a few weeks ago. The podcast episode was a couple of years old, and it was an interview with Dr. Voddie Baucham, one of the most compelling pastors I’ve ever heard or read.
The context of this part of the conversation was a discussion about making sure that your church is standing for the truth and avoiding false teachings and ideas. Baucham said that we need to have the kind of relationship with our church leaders that allows us to both support them and speak out when bad ideas may come in.
The phrase that jumped out at me the most was this one: “Fight for your relationship with your pastor.” He could’ve said “Fight for your pastor,” and that would have been a true and sufficient statement. But he added to that statement, which makes what he said even more powerful.
What does this mean? How do we fight for our relationships with our pastors? It’s more than telling him after service that his sermon was good or giving him a coffee mug for Pastor Appreciation Month in October. Here are some ways you can protect your relationship with your pastor.
First — and probably most obvious — pray for your pastor. Thomas Nelson, the publisher of Bibles and Christian books, has a terrific list of specific ways to pray. The blog post suggests praying for blessings over your pastor, praying for God’s direction over him, praying for courage and strength, praying for increased energy and focus, and praying for wisdom and love to surround him and his family.
Get to know your pastor and his family. After all, you can’t fight for a relationship with someone you don’t have a relationship with. The Apostle Paul encourages the church: “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves” (1 Thessalonians 5:12, ESV). Some translations use “recognize” in place of “respect,” but the Greek work in that verse — οἶδα — means to “know” in the sense of experiencing something firsthand and understanding what you’ve seen and experienced.
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You may not have opportunities to have your pastor and his family over for supper or to spend extended time with them, but you can find out what makes him (and his family) tick, what his interests are, and how he’s wired. Getting to know your pastor not only establishes that personal relationship, but it allows you to know how to encourage him, find specific ways to pray for him, and honor him.
Finally, love and respect your pastors. In the next verse in 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul calls the church to “esteem them very highly in love because of their work.” Lifeway Research puts it this way: “His job is to ‘keep watch over you’ (Hebrews 13:17), but sometimes he needs you to watch over him as well.”
Encourage your pastor beyond telling him, “Good sermon.” Send him a note, and while you’re at it, send his wife a note. Both of them will appreciate it. (And, as old-fashioned as this sounds, there’s emotional power in a handwritten note that a text or email doesn’t convey.)
“Whether they’re leading successfully or failing miserably, in season and out of season, they all need the respect and love of their church families,” Lifeway Research continues. Your pastor needs your love, respect, and encouragement more than you know — and probably more than he knows.
I’ve written quite a bit about my church home in my “Sunday Thoughts” columns — and in other articles and columns over the years — and our church family is blessed to have some amazing pastors. I’ve known them all for a long time, most of them for the majority of my life.
Scott, our lead pastor, came along a year into our church’s history and was youth pastor during my senior year of high school. Trey, our executive pastor, has been a friend of mine since elementary school. I’ve known Kurt, the campus pastor at the campus I attend and serve, his entire life; I even babysat him and his siblings when they were little. Gary, the campus pastor at our other location, was my youth pastor in my middle and high school years. And although I’ve known (the other) Scott, our worship pastor, for the least amount of time, I’ve served with him on various teams for years.
All of these men are wonderfully godly men, and I’m proud to call them cherished friends. I consider it a privilege to serve alongside them and under their leadership. My relationships with my pastors are important to me, and, having heard Baucham’s call to “fight for your relationship with your pastor,” I’m even more excited about pursuing holiness and growing in my faith alongside these men of God.
How will you fight for your relationship with your pastor?
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