Hello, everyone, your substitute West Coast Messed Coast ™ correspondent here. Hardly a week goes by that I am not happy to be viewing the insanity of California from the safety of Arizona, but unfortunately, Californians are trying to export their looniness here. The outright, mind-boggling lunacy of woke weirdos in the state of Commiefornia— not to mention the rest of the West Coast — has become so batty as to drive even a woke lesbian fitness guru out in disgust and outrage. And with a Portland leftist intervening to protect a “brown person” who turned out to be a sexual predator, I think we can agree that the West Coast in general has reached a level of nuttiness beyond satire.
The Predator Is Brown, Portland Hates Whites
Yes, you read that right — when a man confronted a “person of color” in Portland, Ore., recently and identified the individual as a potential child sex predator, a leftist activist spewing ALL the woke catchphrases then intervened to harass the man on behalf of the predator, whom she believed to be “houseless.” Perhaps we can solve that problem by putting the predator in jail?
In fact, the woman’s language was so ridiculous I almost wonder if it’s sincere. Can anyone really be so brainwashed and silly?
The Post Millennial editor Andy Ngo shared a video taken by “People v. Predators” (PVP), a man whose X account specifically calls out child sexual predators and potential predators. PVP approached the man he identified as Sam in the video, which he captioned, “Sam came to meet 14yo girl got arrested instead.” PVP showed Sam his picture and said, “I’m not here to hurt you. I want to have a conversation with you, though. Do you think we can talk about this?” The clearly uncomfortable Sam agreed.
But a self-righteous (white) Karen swooped in to save the day, full of high indignation that PVP was challenging Sam and not even bothering to find out why. “I live in the neighborhood, and I do a lot of, uh, mutual aid for the houseless,” quoth St. Karen the Woke. “He’s not houseless,” PVP replied. Immediately talking over PVP, the woman went on, “I just want to make sure that he was not being harassed.” “Oh, am I harassing you?” PVP asked Sam. “Do you wanna tell her why you’re here or you want her just to probably move along?"
Sam immediately went with the latter option, indicating he probably was up to no good.
But the smug activist was not to be deterred, asking Sam if everything was “okay.” “Not really, but um…” Sam stammered.
“Do you want him to go away?” continued the self-appointed crusader of the brown-skinned houseless. When pressed again by PVP, Sam affirmed, “I want to talk about this” with PVP.
“I just wanted to make sure that the brown person was okay,” the activist pontificated. “The brown person is safe,” PVP answered in a slightly amused tone. “Yeah, because we take care of — we take good care of black and brown people in this city,” the activist announced before stalking off, leaving PVP chuckling and Sam with only one concern — whether PVP planned to “fight” him (which PVP confirmed he did not).
The amount of racism, elitism, and all-round arrogance in the Karen’s statements is almost too much to be real. The woke mind virus is a real thing, and it is poisoning Portland.
Soft-on-Crime Encourages Crime
Speaking of poison, here’s a revelation: soft-on-crime policies encourage more crime! Democrat-run Oregon has had that issue for a while, but it finally got so horrendous in Portland that the pro-crime Soros-backed district attorney there finally got booted from office by voters in May. But it wasn’t soon enough to save victims of a child sex predator whose electronic ankle monitor died while he was on “community supervision.” The criminal, who had been sentenced for raping a minor, immediately seized the opportunity to assault more young girls, with his crimes now stretching across Oregon and Washington state. From Oregon Live, June 20:
James Harrison Newcomer, 27, of Washington, is now accused of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl twice in Woodburn [Oregon] in April and two other girls in Washington state, ages 15 and 16, in February after meeting them on Snapchat before he was rearrested on June 7 outside a hotel in Kent, Washington, federal prosecutors allege in a federal complaint… Newcomer had been convicted of two counts of third-degree rape of a child in Washington in the sexual assault of a 15-year-old girl between July 24 and July 27 in 2020.
You can read the details on Oregon Live if you wish, but Newcomer is one sick cookie. He ought to be behind bars for a long time, but since Washington state (like Oregon) is also run by pro-crime Democrats, Newcomer might not be served with the full justice he deserves. It’s no wonder people have been exiting the West Coast in droves.
Lesbian Fitness Guru Is California Fleeing
Speaking of leaving the West Coast behind… As PJ Media’s own Stephen Green reported last week, celebrity fitness guru Jillian Michaels, who describes herself as a “Gay half-Arab/half-Jew,” moved out of California in recent years with her “half-Latin son and a daughter adopted from the Congo,” not to mention her black “wife,” fashion designer DeShanna Marie Minuto. As Michaels herself highlighted, when you go too woke for the lefty woman who thinks she’s married to another woman, you might want to reassess your detachment from reality.
Just to highlight a couple of the reasons even someone like Michaels might be angry, watch masked California criminals boldly and brazenly robbing a store in broad daylight. There’s also the fact that the California Senate recently passed a bill that would ban schools from notifying parents if their kids start identifying as the opposite sex at school.
Michaels is also mad about transgender ideology usurping parental rights. “I hold a million cards in your game of woke victimology poker,” Michaels exclaimed during a recent interview. “And when I leave California, maybe you've lost your f***ing mind. Just maybe! Like when you have me running from home, maybe it's gone way too far.” A rhetorical comment with an obvious answer.
Interestingly, though Michaels is willing to support the fantasy of claiming a gender different from your biological sex, she is not willing to let her children take “off-label cancer drugs to irreparably change their body.” She explained her rather contradictory views: “If my son came to me and said, 'Mom' — or my daughter — 'I think I'm trans,' I'd say okay, you want to dress this way, you want me to call you whatever the heck you want... fine, explore it. I love you... but we're not changing your body until it's fully developed. I'm sorry. Conversation's over.” It is encouraging that she cares more about her children’s bodily development than LGBTQ ideology. But, again, if California’s asinine antics are shocking even Jillian Michaels, it’s high time to recalibrate.
California Fleein’
In conclusion, I think we can all agree that The Babylon Bee’s satire about California is still exceptionally on point:
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