Bad Ads: Condom Ad Tells Men to Use Their Product or Life Will Be an Endless Misery of Kids Punching You in the Crotch

Here’s a Durex condom ad, funny, beautifully shot and edited, that delivers a horrifying message.

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From the opening shot of the scorched sausages (subtle) to the closing shot of the man who just wants to listen to music but ends up hitting a note beyond the castrati range, the ad tells one message: Children are little menaces whose every move jeopardizes mens’ manhood.

Kids, you see, are nothing but burdens. Little terrorists. Monsters of the mid-section.

The ad actually works against itself, though. The men in it are family men who apparently wanted kids. Hint: They have more than one kid. They’re barbecuing or they’re getting home from work or getting on the computer. The life they have and enjoy is enjoyable in large part because they have kids. What father hasn’t come home from the office, seen a mess of kids and toys scattered around the driveway and yard, and both hated and loved the sight at the same time? Yeah, it’s a mess, but the mess shows that your kid is having a good time with other kids who are having a good time. That’s what neighborhood life is about. It’s why we build schools and parks and pools and have soccer and baseball leagues everywhere.

There’s a name for neighborhoods that don’t have any kids in them: retirement homes. Or increasingly, New York’s upper east side, which is probably where this anti-kid ad was dreamed up.

The father who is drinking hot coffee while he has a couple of kids using him for a jungle gym is just dumb. Put the coffee down, dude, unless you want to scald that little tyke climbing up your neck and end up running him to the ER.

If that toy mess in the driveway has been there for more than a day, you might be a lousy parent.

Had the men taken Durex’s advice, those good times they’re having with the kids wouldn’t be happening. The men wouldn’t be family men. Yet several have more than one kid. Maybe Durex’s target customers are just dummies who fail to associate cause and effect?

Durex has produced a very anti-family and even anti-human ad.

I’m not exaggerating — leftwinger site Jezebel got the message, and approves.