Dear Christian Women: Stop Living with Your Boyfriend

Dear Christian Women: I have noticed a trend that is grieving my heart. It is particularly saddening because it applies the wisdom of the world and ignores the commands of the Bible. The trend is Christian women living with their boyfriends.

I know, it’s 2017 and the social stigma from this act is basically non-existent. Everyone thinks it is a good trial run to see if you are compatible. However, God says it is wrong. He specifically tells His beloved children (the ones He sent His Son to die for) not to even come close to what a culture sees as no big deal—especially when it comes to sex. Hebrews 13:4 tells us very plainly to “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” There is no wiggle room, neither is there a loophole that could be applied to this situation. Sex is for marriage, and believers should value sex enough to follow the biblical confines.

I know that some try to make a case for living in the same house but not having sex, but the Bible warns us that such an act is also wrong. I Thessalonians 5:22 tells us to “Stay away from every form of evil,” that not even a hint of it should be present in our lives. Ephesians 5:3  tells us that any type of sexual sin or impurity should not even be named among Christians. According to these verses, it should be absolutely ludicrous for someone to accuse a believer of sexual sin, but I am afraid that too many have given into sexual temptation. Instead of creating opportunities to indulge, we should be looking for ways to protect ourselves from vulnerable situations. I remember a friend telling me that while they were dating, she and her husband were never alone together. If no one was at her parents’ house when he visited, they sat on the front porch so the neighbors could see. We should be taking bold steps to keep ourselves above reproach.

If you think that is too radical, consider what Jesus Himself had to say about the subject:

You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in her heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

Jesus took it one step further and told us that not only is sex outside of marriage a sin, but our lustful thoughts are just as bad! God is serious about sexual sin; we should be too.

I love how Paul talks to the Thessalonians about purity. “For this is the will of God… that you abstain from sexual immorality.” God’s direct plan for your life and for mine is that we pursue purity and become more like Christ—not live in immorality! Paul continues with the command “that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust…” Paul reminds us that unbelievers are the ones who give in to sexual sin, but we should not! Those who know Christ should be different; we should value purity and fight for it. He reminds us that God “is an avenger in all these things.” Our sin cannot go unpunished. God will not let us soil His name by living in sexual sin. There will always be temptations, but the closer we grow to Christ, the more we will be able to say no to sin (see Galatians 5). Choosing to live with a man you are not married to will bring punishment from God.

I Corinthians 6 tells us to “Flee from sexual immorality.” A great example of this is Joseph, who literally ran away when his boss’ wife tried to seduce him. She tempted him every day, then created what appeared to be the perfect opportunity to get away with this sin and Joseph left his coat and RAN!

This passage goes on to tells us: “Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” The affects of this sin can physically hurt your own body. Furthermore, our bodies are not our own, they belong to God. He has warned us over and over again why sexual purity is so important. These are commands we cannot overlook.

Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

The effects of this sin can physically hurt your own body. Furthermore, our bodies are not our own, they belong to God. He has warned us over and over again why sexual purity is so important. These are commands we cannot overlook.

Dear Christian woman: God loves you. He loves you so much He sent His Son to die for you. He offers us a new life, makes us a new creation, and He has had a plan for our lives before we were ever born. That plan does not involve compromising your purity. He wants us to keep sex for marriage. Do not fall into this trap. God has something much better planned for you if you choose to walk in obedience. Do not set yourself up for His punishment by continuing to live with your boyfriend.