WATCH: Unreal Cringe Moderna COVID Shot Commercial Drops

Moderna’s dropped a new “vaccine” ad, and it’s as cringe as you might expect.

It features a sassy Slay Queen-style empowered female voiceover juxtaposed with visuals of people “doing x that body.”

“You Spikevax that body,” the commercial instructs in the conclusion. (Spikevax is the new branded name for Moderna’s COVID-19 injection.)

AdAge recently did a fawning interview with Moderna’s “chief brand officer” (could corporate titles get any stupider?) about her visionary leadership as pharmaceutical propagandist extraordinaire.

Via AdAge:

Autumn is here and with its changing leaves and brisk temperatures comes an increase in germs and viruses, including flu, COVID-19 and respiratory illness RSV. Moderna, which gained mainstream awareness for its mRNA science during the pandemic, recently released a newly calibrated COVID-19 vaccine designed to combat this year’s dominant strain of the coronavirus. The shot is currently rolling out to doctors’ offices and drugstores including Walgreens and CVS…
But there is still opportunity for the pharmaceutical brand. Kate Cronin, a former executive at Ogilvy Health who joined Boston-based Moderna two years ago as chief brand officer, has been working to continue the momentum COVID-19 brought the brand as it stretches into new products and offerings. Below, she talks with Ad Age about how Moderna got to where it is today, and what comes next.

Below is part of Cronin’s celebration of herself and her ability to manipulate the public into getting injected with her company’s products that are deceptively marketed as “vaccines” despite being so wildly out of step with the composition of actual vaccines as to require that dictionaries literally re-write the definition of “vaccine” to accommodate her company’s mRNA products. (Yes, that literally happened.)

Once again, I return to the best life advice ever dispensed for advertisers of poison such as Cronin, delivered by the one and only Bill Hicks. And it goes double for Google Ads executives: “There’s no rationalization for what you do, and you are Satan’s little helpers. This is not a joke… There’s no joke coming… You are Satan’s spawn… It’s the only way to save your f***ing soul. Kill yourself.”