Rubin Reports

Satire: The Islamist Revolutionaries Make an Anti-American Movie

“If you were truly/As keen and courageous as you claim to be/Grendel would never have got away with/Such unchecked atrocity…./But he knows he need never be in dread/Of your blade making a mizzle of his blood/Or of vengeance arriving ever from this quarter…./He knows he can trample down you Danes/ To his heart’s content, humiliate and murder.”   –“Beowulf””

The following is satire. If you don’t like it please don’t burn down anything.

Chairman Muhammad: “This meeting of the Revolutionary Committee of the Islamic Liberation Movement is called to order. The purpose of this meeting is to figure out what kind of video we can make to get back at the Americans. Brother Ali of the Research Committee has the floor.”

Ali: “We have worked around the clock to come up with some good ideas for the anti-American video. We looked into ridiculing their religions. But we found out they do that already. Then we examined the idea of showing their women as mere sex objects. We found, though, that Hollywood and advertising had already beaten us to it. Of course, we didn’t give up. So we examined the idea of demeaning their values, their families, their communities. Guess what? They do that every day!”

Walid: “Bitter clingers and all that.”

Ali: “Exactly, brothers! But then we hit on it. The greatest idea ever. We are going to profoundly insult the American ruling class, the man who killed brother Usama, and all of those arrogant imperialists who invaded and occupied Libya.”

Yusuf: “How?” Ali: “Ah, simplicity itself, my brother! Since their current leaders hate their own country, their own religion, their own values, even their own people we will hit them exactly where it hurts! We will make a full-length film about how great the old United States used to be! The sense of community; of cooperation of groups rather than class and racial warfare! An economy that worked because it put private enterprise in first place! We will make fun of their prophets: Obama himself, of course, Joe Biden, Saul Alinsky, Bill and Hillary Clinton. The film will show how they are behaving like cowards, bowing and apologizing all the time! Brothers, imagine the humiliation!”

Yusuf: “Brilliant!”

Walid: “Allahu Akbar!”

Chairman Muhammad: “Well, I think we have a consensus here. But, brother, do you have a name for your film?” Ali: “Yes. We’re going to call it `How Obama is Destroying America.’ Now that will make the U.S. government cry! And remember, brothers, we’ll never apologize to them!”

Yusuf: “Genius! Sheer genius!”

Ali: “Thank you brothers.” He pulls a sheaf of papers out of his briefcase. “But that’s only the beginning. I haven’t even shown you the David Axelrod cartoons yet!”