Me in City Journal:
Hollywood is under high pressure from various left-wing groups to bring its business fully in line with political correctness. After the Southern California ACLU claimed that the movie industry didn’t have enough female directors, no fewer than two federal agencies launched investigations into Tinseltown’s hiring practices. Blacks have threatened to boycott the Academy Awards if the Motion Picture Academy doesn’t start handing out Affirmative Action Oscars. And Twitter pests are pushing studios to make Captain America gay, Princess Elsa lesbian, and James Bond female.
In response, one of Hollywood’s top studios has now announced plans for a new tentpole picture scheduled for release next Kwaanza—a superhero extravaganza entitled Social Justice League of America: Age of Imaginary Problems. The blockbuster will be written and directed by Lena Dunham, who will also play the lead role of Cecily Shrillwine.
According to a studio press release, Shrillwine is a brilliant nuclear physicist who angrily quits MIT after a sexist professor evicts her from class merely because she doesn’t know any math. Shrillwine retires to her private laboratory hidden on the cliffs of Mount Grievance and there begins a series of secret experiments to determine exactly how little a person can contribute to society while still complaining about being underpaid.