The Daughters of the American Revolution was founded on Oct. 11, 1890. Its founding was based on the rejection of women wanting to join the Sons of the American Revolution. The reason for the rejection was simple: no women in a men’s organization. The same was true in the DAR: no men in a women’s organization until June 25, 2026. On that day, much to the horror of a large portion of the membership, the National Board of Management, the group that runs the day-to-day business, voted down a resolution that would have retained the requirement that all women joining are women, as in biological females. They chose to open membership to men who can produce a birth certificate stating that they are female.
The president general (president) of the DAR has gone along with this idea 100%. At least two former presidents general agree with her, with one of them presenting the idea to membership at the national conference, known as the Continental Congress. Some of the DAR state presidents have gone along with this idea as well. Beyond those few, the majority of the membership is in an uproar. The idea of men in a women’s organization has not gone over well. Thousands of women have resigned and canceled all of their donations to the DAR. Thousands more are considering resigning from both their local chapter and the national DAR. Tens of thousands of dollars stand to be lost as Daughters pull their donations before resigning. And then there are all the women who were considering joining and now won’t, because of this.
All of this consternation is coming from the narrow-minded and shortsighted actions of a handful of women who decided that they knew what was best for the oldest and best-known genealogical society in the world. The DAR has 190,000 members in countries all over the world. What happens next, no one knows. Whatever happens is self-inflicted. The need to virtue signal has overridden common sense. I never thought I would see the day when such abhorrent ideas were accepted by any part of the DAR.
I am a third-generation Daughter. My grandmother, on my mother’s side, did the research and genealogy for our family in the '50s, long before the Internet was even a thought. Using the information found at the DAR headquarters in Washington, D.C., she was able to locate an ancestor from South Carolina who had served as a private in the army. My grandmother went on to be chapter regent (president), several state offices, and state regent at one point. She was active in the DAR until close to her death in 1988 at the age of 94. She would be absolutely horrified at what has happened, but I don’t know if she would be surprised.
My mother joined, probably at my grandmother’s urging, but resigned a few years later because she was going to work overseas and there were no overseas chapters at the time. She would later rejoin. She too would be horrified by what has happened, but I don’t think she would be surprised. I can see her rolling her eyes and muttering about people who don’t have enough to do with their time.
Me? I started out in the CAR, Children of the American Revolution, the children’s group supported by the DAR. At the age of 11, I attended my first CAR meeting. It was my grandmother’s idea. We had just moved to Houston, and my mom needed something for me to do. During a phone conversation between my mother and grandmother, my grandmother suggested the CAR. My mother took her advice, filled out the paperwork, found a chapter for me to join, and the CAR is what I did, outside of school, for the rest of my childhood, through my teen years, and into college. Much like my grandmother, I was deeply involved in the CAR, starting with my local chapter, through state chairmanships and state offices, including Texas State CAR president. I got to see most of Texas because of the CAR.
It is a great organization. It teaches public speaking, social graces, how to behave in public, and how to dress appropriately. Most of the work is done by the children, with adults known as Seniors to help out when needed. My mother rejoined the DAR because of me. I needed a responsible DAR member in order to participate.
At the age of 22, I "aged out" of the CAR and transferred to a DAR chapter that had been very helpful when I was CAR state president. I was a member of that chapter until June 2026, for 32 years. I really enjoyed the women in my chapter. They were smart and determined and fairly down to earth. Some of them had known me when I was in the CAR, which meant they had known me a very, very long time. I thought I knew the women in my chapter, but apparently, I didn’t because they participated in voting down the resolution to keep men out of the organization. I was horrified. I was gobsmacked, to use a British phrase, at what had happened. I couldn’t understand how the women I thought I knew for decades would think it was acceptable for men to join a women’s organization. I resigned from the chapter right then and there. I couldn’t remain a member of a chapter that thought men could be women simply by changing their birth certificate.
A few days later, I received a phone call from the chapter regent. She wanted to “clear up” any confusion I might have over the issue. We went back and forth for 10 minutes. She couldn’t understand why I thought it was a bad idea to let men in who claimed to be women. I couldn’t understand why she thought it was a good idea. Her reasoning was that since Texas didn’t allow birth certificates to be altered and an altered birth certificate was needed, there was no problem. The idea that men could use altered birth certificates from other states to join Texas chapters didn’t seem to occur to her. I hung up without resolving anything.
I got a call the day after that from the chapter treasurer about the same thing. She started the conversation with, “The bylaws weren’t changed. You need to know that.” Again, she couldn’t seem to understand that my problem was just the very suggestion of men claiming to be women being allowed in. A man putting on a dress doesn’t make him a woman. Her response clued me in to how the resolution failed.
Fear. The NBOM used fear to sway the vote away from the resolution. She told me that if they hadn’t voted down the resolution, then the DAR could be sued for discrimination, and that could bankrupt the DAR. “We didn’t have a choice. We couldn’t vote our consciences. We had to vote to save the DAR.” I hung up before I could say something ugly. They all had a choice; they made the wrong one.
I hate bullies. I really hate people who I thought I knew turn into bullies, and that’s exactly what happened. The delegates at the Continental Congress were scared into voting against the resolution because of “what might happen.” Newsflash: Most of what the delegates were told was either an exaggeration or a flat-out lie. Not everyone was cowed, but enough were, and that is shameful.
The bullies chose to virtue signal instead of defending the organization they claim to love. They chose the building, the ribbons, the pins, the ephemera over the principles the DAR was founded on: patriotism, love of country, and service to others. My grandmother didn’t do all the research to join the DAR because of a pretty building; she did it to be of service to others while showing her pride in her country. I could not be part of a chapter that believed buildings and pins were more important than service to others.
The chapter I joined after leaving my original chapter is an hour away from where I live. I’m trading a 30-minute round trip to the meetings for a two-hour round trip for the meetings because the chapter I joined believes, as I do, that men have no business being in a women’s organization. The chapters that refuse to go along with the national DAR have named themselves the Resolute Chapters. They are resolute in returning the DAR to what it was: a women’s organization for women ONLY. I am joining a Resolute Chapter and am more than willing to spend an hour in the car coming and going. There are over 100 Resolute Chapters spread across the country, and they have made a request through the bylaws for a special meeting to be held in October to discuss the matter. Whether the president general agrees to such a request remains to be seen. I hope she does. I really don’t want to destroy three generations of service to my country.
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