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by
Rick Moran

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September 7, 2013 - 5:43 am

BuzzFeed has breaking news about several prominent, “principled” anti-war activists  who have gone missing — almost all of them since 2009.

There have been discussions about putting their faces on packages of Brie cheese and bottles of red wine in order to generate leads, but police believe that may only enrage the kidnappers. After all, everyone knows you eat brie with white wine  — a nice Riesling is the usual companion beverage.

Most of the celebrities were last seen attending an anti-war demonstration. Authorities said they would love to search for them at other anti-war venues, but admit such events have been few and far between in recent years.

A group calling itself “The World Can’t Wait…To Rid Itself of Idiotic Celebrities” is claiming responsibility, but the FBI says they have no such group in their terrorist database, although the NSA told PJ Media on deep background that the organization is based in Texas and run out of the basement of Bryan Preston’s home.

Have you seen any of these deep-thinking anti-war activists?

LAST KNOWN PRE-2009 COMMUNICATION:
“I think war is based in greed and there are huge karmic retributions that will follow. I think war is never the answer to solving any problems. The best way to solve problems is to not have enemies.”
— Sheryl Crow

LAST KNOWN PRE-2009 COMMUNICATION:
“But I am equally against the death penalty or war — anywhere people are sacrificed for some end justifying a means.”
— Martin Sheen

LAST KNOWN PRE-2009 COMMUNICATION:
“I also think that there is a strong streak of racism, and whenever we engage in foreign adventures. Our whole history in regime change has been of people of different color.”
— Ed Asner

LAST KNOWN PRE-2009 COMMUNICATION:
“You can’t beat your enemy anymore through wars; instead you create an entire generation of people revenge-seeking.”
— George Clooney

LAST KNOWN PRE-2009 COMMUNICATION:
“American people always have to be tricked into going to war, they always have to be cajoled. I mean, there’s a long history of being lied to, of having things described in a particular way, in order to get them out of their sort of isolationist… prosperity mode and go to war.”
- Jackson Brown

LAST KNOWN PRE-2009 COMMUNICATION:
“Let’s talk for a minute about these masters of war, these same men that are sending our sons and our daughters, our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers to fight an undeclared and unconstitutional and unwinnable war for them.”
— Jessica Lange

LAST KNOWN PRE-2009 COMMUNICATION:
“You know, really good artists have a way of being relevant in their time – but great artists are relevant at any time. So, in the words of William Shakespeare, ‘Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor.”
- Barbra Streisand

LAST KNOWN PRE-2009 COMMUNICATION:
“Let us resist this war. Let us hate war in all its forms, whether the weapon used is a missile or an airplane.”
— Susan Sarandon

Federal authorities believe that several different organizations are involved in the kidnappings. They base this theory on the idea that no one group could keep their sanity being around so many loud-mouthed, self-important, ignorant glory hounds.

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Rick Moran is PJ Media's Chicago editor and Blog editor at The American Thinker. He is also host of the"RINO Hour of Power" on Blog Talk Radio. His own blog is Right Wing Nut House.