The story broke Monday, that sexy amateur Russian spy Anna Chapman was stopped and deported by the FBI because she was getting too close to someone very high up in the Obama government. The story referred to the target being at the “cabinet level,” which formally includes all of the obvious administration positions and a few that are less obvious, such as the White House chief of staff and the US ambassador to the UN. The latter should be folded under State as far as I’m concerned, until we can extricate ourselves from the UN entirely and either go our own way or establish a League of Democracies to compete with the corrupt UN dictators’ club. The White House chief of staff is an ultimate insider, and would be an obvious target. At the time of Chapman’s arrest, Obama’s chief of staff was former ballet dancer and towel snapper Rahm Emanuel, now the mayor of Chicago.
This story could be totally bogus for all we know, but it provides the opportunity to post pics of the fiery redhead, and for irresponsible but informed speculation as to the identity of the honeypot’s target. So as a blogger, it’s pretty much a can’t-lose proposition.
We already have two pieces of evidence to exonerate the president himself: He’s not in the cabinet, and he’s already in the Russians’ pocket. They didn’t need the spy turned model and business magnate to get to him, when a simple “Say hi to Vlad for me” betrayed his intent.
Scanning down the list of possible targets, Zombie suggested Hillary, but Huma Abedin would have nixed that. Biden…eh, he’s certainly a candidate but Anna’s accent would have reminded him of 7-11′s or something. Robert Gates was SecDef at the time, that department would be an obvious espionage target but he’s more than solid and a former spook himself — way too smart for an amateur like Chapman. Scanning all the way down past the hard lefties that Obama managed to get confirmed into their offices, we land on a cabinet-level post of interest, the Office of Management and Budget. That office would be a prime target in times of economic uncertainty, and a less obvious one than State or Defense, while also being one that has the president’s ear (I doubt he has much high-level interaction with LaHood at Transportation). Jeffrey Zeints is the acting director of OMB now, but Peter Orszag was the director when Chapman was arrested, which was June 2010.
Red Anna was arrested June 29, 2010. But a week prior to that, Peter Orszag announced that he was leaving the administration. Why? The nebbish numbers guy was caught up in a sex scandal. Jeff Zeints, the current “acting director,” was appointed to replace Orszag the day after Red Anna’s arrest.
As for Orszag’s sex scandal, it’s an odd one: He was engaged to one woman when word broke that he had fathered an out-of-wedlock child with another. Jon Stewart joked that Orszag had turned the Office of Management and Budget into the Office of the Management of the Bootay, but Bill Clinton had already done that back in the 1990s. Orszag’s scandal and well-known dating activities prior suggest that there’s a serious horndog lurking within the nerd. Orszag would give Howard Wolowitz a serious run for his money. The timing of it all raises an eyebrow or two.
Orszag’s engagement was to media personality and socialite Bianna Golodryga, and they’re married now with a son of their own. Golodryga was, according to her Wikipedia entry, born in the old Soviet Union. So she’s Russian by ethnicity. Chapman is just Russian. Both are strikingly beautiful women with media ambitions, too: Golodryga has worked for ABC News, while Chapman has parlayed her arrest and deportation into a media and fashion career back in the USSR. I mean, Russia.
She has ways of making you talk.
Update: Just when the speculators were warming up, along comes ABC with a wet blanket. Red Anna wasn’t the principal honeypot, it was some other female spy trying to get close to Hillary in the way one tends to get close to a Clinton. Well, the other way one tends to get close to a Clinton: Via fundraisers.
Then again, it’s ABC. After what they did with the Zimmerman video, their credibility isn’t exactly ironclad.