New York Mayor Adams Has the Perfect Job for Illegal Aliens (Except It's So Cringe)

AP Photo/Brittainy Newman

New York Mayor Eric Adams has just the job for the city's growing legions of illegal aliens, many of whom were bussed or flown in from distant locations like Texas where the illegal situation is far worse. But before I tell you what it is, I'm going to ask you to sit down and swallow that sip of coffee because I don't have the budget to replace everybody's keyboards.


Ready? OK.

Adams on Tuesday said the illegals should be hired as lifeguards — the city has quite a shortage — because “they’re excellent swimmers.”

Adams just turned the cringe up to 11, which is one cringier than most mayors.

This is where I'm required by law to add that if a Republican mayor had praised the swimming skills of people some folks used to call "wetbacks," we wouldn't hear the end of it until he'd been hounded from office and forced to endure public struggle sessions on each of the major broadcast news networks. 

When Adams was running for the Democrat nomination in 2021, I wrote that if he stuck with his law and order platform, he'd be a step up from outgoing Mayor Bill DeBlasio in that one regard. Maybe he's a little better on law enforcement than DeBlasio was — not exactly a high bar to clear. But in every other respect, Adams is just as comically inept but in entirely new ways.

Anyway, I hope New York City needs a lifeguard at every swimming pool, dock, pier, and pothole because you wouldn't believe how many unemployed illegal aliens there are. A report out this week from the Center for Immigration Studies (CIS) shows that more than half of all illegal aliens are unemployed.


Maybe it isn't their fault. Maybe Presidentish Joe Biden's economy — which the Mainstream Media keep gaslighting you into believing is doing a rip-roaring job at generating jobs — just can't handle the influx of illegals that Presidentish Joe Biden let into the country.

Complaints about Bidenomics aside, that isn't how immigration — legal or otherwise — is supposed to work. As CIS reported, "Those who simply see immigration as a source of labor need to understand it is also a source of school children, retirees, and many other non-workers."

Cloward and Piven, call your office.

Aside from our broken border, it's clear that something is deeply wrong with whatever little remains of our immigration system. Vast numbers of immigrants, almost entirely illegal, don't seem to hew to the old "We just want to work hard, build better lives, and assimilate as Americans."

Just last week here in Colorado, a surprisingly well-represented group of "urban camper" illegals presented their list of 13 demands to Denver Mayor Mike Johnston, including being allowed to "cook their own food with fresh, culturally appropriate ingredients provided by the City instead of premade meals – rice, chicken, flour, oil, butter, tomatoes, onions." [Emphasis added.]


Maybe my favorite part of legal immigration is all the new foods our new neighbors bring with them. But this is America, Bub — don't break in, and you're going to have to buy your own stuff.

And whatever you do, don't go swimming in the Hudson because no lifeguard can save you.

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